Patriots, with spring rapidly approaching and summer just around the bend, many of you are contemplating a skwerl-safe or skwerl-free holiday. So, you're thinking, why not a trip to the wonderous and beautiful nothern tundras and artic regions of the planet? Surely, those chitterboxes won't pester me there!

Think again, Patriots. What's bigger than the Demon of Delmarva, more numerous than Ratufa the Englutted, and more dangerous than any aqua-skwerl? Patriots behold...

That's right, Patriots. Snug within their dens lie the artic's greatest menace: the Artic Ground Skwerl (aka Sik-Sik). This demon is one of the few chitterboxes that truly hibernates during the winter months. But, beginning in April, the slavering nut devils will stretch their furry legs, rub the sleep from their eyes, and erupt in a ravenous feeding frenzy across the planet's artic regions.

And, what do these bushytail critters eat: ANYTHING! Nuts, grass, seeds, meat... What's more, our investigators report that feeding these drooling nut crunchers actually produces more of them.

That's right. We believe that the Squirrel Enforcement Army (SEA) has genetically altered Spermohilius parryii to clone itself whenever it's fed. Thus, humankind is in danger of being overrun and devoured by the Artic Ground Skwerl.

We asked National Forest Service spokesman, Bob Woodward, to comment on this latest and disturbing development within the SEA. His response:

That is the most patently absurd theory I've ever heard. Of course, population increases and regional densities correlate to the availability of food. But, the rest of it is a CROCK!

A crock is it, Bob? Then how do you explain this video that we obtained from an anonymous source within the SEA:

	CLICK HERE FOR THE QUICKTIME VIDEO: TERROR ON THE TUNDRA (BEST QUALITY; 680K)
	CLICK HERE FOR TERROR ON THE TUNDRA IN STREAMING REAL MEDIA FORMAT (68K)

NEED MORE PROOF? CLICK HERE FOR OUR SICK SIK-SIK PHOTO GALLERY. SKWERLHUGGERS TAKE NOTE: INCLUDES 2 DISTURBING IMAGES OF OUR PAL THE FOX AND OUR PAL THE WOLF EATING SIK-SIK.