Patriots, there are places on earth that are described as "remote". The Antartic, the Siberian steppes, the impenetrable jungles of the tropics. Some are skwerl-free, others are bastions of nutzy terror.
        Then, there are places that may not be remote, but can only be described as lonely, even forlorn. These forgotten outposts are no less susceptible to the indignities of squirrel world domination.
        One such area is found in eastern Nevada along the border with Utah where the lonliest road in America, Highway 50 merges with Highway 6 and passes by the least visited national park in the nation, Great Basin National Park.
        It was from here that we received an anguished commuinique from one of our operatives, and then... silence (click operative to hear anguished communique). Subsequent efforts to reach the Anti-Squirrel Coalition (ASC) regional center in the nearby town of Baker, Nevada failed (click for maps).
        Patriots, it's clear from our operative's transmission that the bushytail horde is on the move in eastern Nevada. What isn't clear is the nature of the threat. Was the ASC garrison wiped out by an army of skwerlballs, or did they encounter that single, terrifying monstrosity, Skwerlfoot?
        To solve this mystery and to exact revenge on the criminal nutzys involved, we've decided to investigate for ourselves. We plan to leave for the Great Basin-Baker region on May 27, 2002. The following is a primer on what we can expect when we arrive...

Great Basin National Park was established on October 27, 1986 as an exceptional example of the Basin and Range environment of the American west. It is a hydrologic region where all precipitation stays in the valleys (basins) between mountain ranges, then evaporates or filters down into underground aquifers, never reaching the ocean.

SCENES FROM THE WASTELAND...

L - R: bristlecone pine; glacier on wheeler peak; creekside forest; lehman cave

DROOLING AND MANIACAL AREA SCIURIDAE
Click photos to hear their threatening and hideous chitters

	Yellow-Bellied Marmot (Rockchuck) Marmota flaviventris avara Common near Baker Creek Trailhead and several other locations in the park, in rocky habitats near grass meadows. Bones of this species common in Lehman Caves Entrance fauna. Estivates/hibernates late summer to late winter.
	White-tailed Antelope Ground Squirrel Ammospermophilus leucurus leucurus Common in basin and bajada shrub habitats. Occurs in the park at the lowest elevations. Note: active all year.
	Townsend Ground Squirrel Spermophilus townsendii mollis Common in basin and bajada shrub habitats. Estivates/hibernates mid-summer to mid-winter.
	Rock Squirrel Spermophilus variegatus robustus Common during spring and summer in pinyon-juniper habitats. Warning: climbs trees readily.
	Golden-Mantled Ground Squirrel Spermophilus lateralis trepidus Common in montane conifer forests (across the West).
	Cliff Chipmunk Eutamias dorsalis Abundant in pinyon-juniper woodland. Eastern Nevada populations appear to be intermediate between E. d. utahensis and E. d. grinnelli
	Unita Chipmunk Eutamias umbrinus inyoensis Abundant in montane forest habitats.
	Least Chipmunk Eutamias minimus scrutator Common in sagebrush habitats, from montane to basin.
Source: Great Basin National Park.com (see link below)

        Patriots, we plan to arrive at Great Basin National Park on June 01. It's uncertain what we'll find. A formidable army of skwerliens? The dreaded Skwerlfoot? Or a land laid waste by the drooling nutcrunchers before they moved on in their quest for squirrel world domination?
        In any event, if we can update you from the field, we will. Otherwise, we plan to thoroughly investigate Great Basin, the surrounding area, and then return to update you on June 17, 2002.

CLICK TO HEAR TUFTY SING Comin' Down (From the Mountain) windows media original by the Meat Puppets