The verb appease is defined in German as "Ursache, mehr günstig geneigt zu werden." But, in the struggle against the bushytail horde and squirrel world domination, appeasement can only mean one thing: the traitorous act or acts of depraved minds.

Unfortunately, we have uncovered a plot and plan of appeasement so odious that it is sure to stun and appall the entire anti-skwerl communtiy.

The latest manifestation of this conspiracy is located in western Idaho. There, the slimy tentacles of skwerlhuggery have choked off the clear air of reason in a plan known to skwerlverts as the Safe Harbor Agreement, and by the Fish and Wildlife Service as a "Conservation Agreement With Assurances."

And what is being conserved? None other than the drooling Idaho Ground Squirrel. This diminutive chitterbox comes in two flavors: nothern (Spermophilus brunneus brunneus) and southern (Spermophilus brunneus endemicus). It closely resembles the Columbian Ground Squirrel, which looks a bit like Beldings Ground Squirrel, which looks somewhat like a bunch of other maniacal ground skwerls native to the American West...

   
Click map for big version; click skwerls for Safe Harbor propaganda

So, how does a Safe Harbor plan work? According to the pathetic skwerlhuggers who support these agreements, they strike a balance between commerical/agricultural interests and environmental concerns.

In this case, landowners Bob and Peggy Mack and the Soulen Livestock Company entered into separate agreements with the US Fish and Wildlife Service to protect and enhance the Idaho Ground Squirrel's habitat. This includes banning shooting, trapping or poisoning of ground squirrels, and allows agency personnel access to their property to conduct ground squirrel surveys, reintroductions and translocations.

In exhange for this capitulation, the USFWS issued permits authorizing some impacts to the squirrels as a result of land use activities if the species is ever listed as threatened or endangered (click skwerl-appeasing traitor for comment).

Patriots, history has shown us time and again that appeasing the enemy invites disaster. And don't think that the Safe Harbor agreements are simply laissez faire plans to let nature takes it course. They are clearly protect and serve campaigns promoting squirrel world domination.

Skeptical? Then why do the plans include feeding the squirrels, planting desirable squirrel food plants, and translocating the squirrels to other areas as their population grows?

Thus, what are now safe harbors, will soon become bays, then seas, and finally oceans of slavering chitterboxes spreading over the land in a tidal wave of gnashing teeth and flicking tails (click skwerl for comment)...

A READER COMMENTS:

In regards to your page pertaining to Safe Harbor Agreements for the northern Idaho ground squirrel (Spermophilus brunneus brunneus), I have to say I disagree entirely.

I live and work in Adams county, Idaho, the only county other than Valley county that these squirrels call home. I work first hand with this imperiled species. I conduct surveys to determine the status and distribution of the isolated populations that occur in this area.

The reason that this species is listed as Threatened under the Endangered Species Act, and is a species of Special Concern in Idaho, is directly tied to human activities. Fire suppression has reduced the natural openings in the Ponderosa pine forests where these squirrels evolved to miniscule, isolated patches throughout their range. Cattle grazing on federal lands has undoubtedly had an impact on the native plant species that these squirrels depend on to survive their long hibernation and by introducing invasive species that outcompete native plants.

Safe Harbor Agreements, whether they be for the northern Idaho ground squirrel, or other threatened, endangered or sensitive species, provide a hope that the small numbers that these species currently exist in can recover to their historic population numbers before man altered the landscape.

Northern Idaho ground squirrels existed in the thousands, with much larger, more viable populations in just the 1950's. To see a species go that far down hill in such a short time period should raise a red flag. Northern Idaho ground squirrels are at the bottom of the food chain. They serve as an important food source for badgers, coyotes, raptors of all types, foxes, the list goes on. These squirrels evolved for a reason, to serve as a food source and help aerate soils. Agencies plant desireable squirrel foods and perform translocations to try to make ammends for the mistakes that we have made in managing our lands for the past century.

I ask that you take a long, hard look at what you are expressing on your website. The Earth is our home, and it's the only one we've got. Props to the private landowners who participate in Safe Harbor Agreements. I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Thank you for listening to mine.

Go ground squirrels!!!
Matthew R. Kasprzak