Patriots, we begin the last chapter of this feature repeating a simple question: what are your expectations when you go to the park?

Of course, the answers to the question are as varied as the thousands of parks around the globe. But who among you expect to be confronted by this...

   

According skwerlhugger Ric Wallace at Victoria-Park.com, the slavering chitterboxes pictured above are Skwerl Albert (on the left - click photo to hear him chitter) and Skwerl Vicky (on the right - click photo to hear her chitter), the master and mistress of Victoria Park, London, Ontario, Canada.

With absolutely no remorse, skwerlhugger Ric reports that Albert and Vicky not only control a large contingent of Squirrel Enforcement Army regulars within the park, but a cadre of traitorous skwerlhuggers as well.

Mr. Wallace even describes himself as a "Supreme Skwerlhugger" and states...

I consider myself not just a skwerlhugger but also a skwerlpreneur. I promote the squirrels on web sites which generate money through online sales and advertising. In turn this gives me money to buy them more peanuts... All of us here at Victoria-Park.com are proud members of the Tufty Club! (We have no shame whatsoever!)

As for Vicky and Albert's loyalty to Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel, Vicky believes that Tufty sends a positive message to all people, especially young children, and Albert joins all clubs hoping they'll serve refreshments.

Patriots, we might excuse Ric's rant for obvious insanity. However, he also included a list of parks spanning Canada claiming they are part of the bushytail horde's plan to subdue the nation. Their commonality: they're all called Victoria Park.

Of course, it isn't unusual to receive reports from deranged skwerlhuggers claiming that a nutzy triumph is at hand. Most are the product of cognitively impaired eco-terrorist hippie skwerlverts and lack even the minimum credibility to warrant comment.

However, skwerlhugger Ric displayed knowledge of the Tufty Club, the Nexus of Terror Parks in Canada and the need to provide his skwerlball overlords with an unending supply of delicious nuts (click Ric to hear him confess his skwerlhuggery and dedication to the false promises of squirrel world domination).

In view of Mr. Wallace's knowledge of squirrel world domiantion, we asked our Homeworld Security Team, Uncle Tom and Cuzin Rummy to investigate further. Using advanced satellite imagery, they were able to pin point the exact locations of skwerlien terroristic objects of possible mass destruction within Victoria Park. Click on the image below for their report...

click for Uncle Tom and Cuzin Rummy's shocking report

Needless to say, we confronted skwerlhugger Ric with our findings. Unbelievably, he shamelessly sent us a series of photos - yet more evidence of bushytail debauchery and aggression in the park...

Victoria Park's squirrels - click thumbs for large versions

Patriots, you should also note that Mr. Wallace's website, victoria-park.com is deliberately trying to lure people into the park by promoting events such as the LONDON INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN'S FESTIVAL, the HOME COUNTY FOLK FESTIVAL and the FIESTA DEL SOL.

Well, Ric, we're certain that these events draw 100's perhaps even thousands of visitors to your skwerlien wonderland, and they do appear commendable on the surface, but do you dare tell us how many escape the park when your festivals of skwerlhuggery are over?

And, should there be any doubt about the drooling nutcrunchers plans of conquest, consider the lyrical tribute to Skwerl Vicky by one of her many minions, Peter Snell. In his song, Mr. Snell recounts how some local black skwerls were sent to Kent State University in Ohio in 1961. Today, by the university's own admission, the campus is a skwerlball gulag where students are forced to worship the chitterboxes during the annual Black Squirrel Festival:

From the Kent State Office of the Registrar...

Ten rare black squirrels were imported from Canada in February 1961 by Larry Woodell, superintendent of grounds, and M. W. Staples, a retired executive of the Davey Tree Expert Company.

When first released, the large, black-spiked squirrels were frequently mistaken for skunks. Today they own the campus.

Patriots, there you have it. Definite proof that Victoria Park in London, Canada is the focal point of squirrel world domination in that nation and beyond. Thus, the only remaining question is...

CLICK TO HEAR TUFTY SING Vicky In Victoria Park in windows media original by Peter Snell