TUFTY PROPAGANDA VIDEO DISCOVERED!

Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel is the sinister mastermind of squirrel world domination and crafty commander-in-chief of the Squirrel Enforcement Army (SEA), He'll stop at nothing to spred his pernicious brand of subliminal propaganda and corruption. Consider his "traffic safety" video, a film that exemplifies Tufty's nefarious style. Caution: you will need a strong stomach to view this disturbing film...

TUFTY'S PROPAGANDA VIDEO rated R for violence against weasles WINDOWS MEDIA VERSION 2.7MB QUICKTIME VERSION 680K SYNOPSIS: Tufty sees an ice cream truck and goes out with his mummy to get a cone. Meanwhile, an unescorted Willy Weasel gets a cone but is run over crossing the street. Miraculously, the weasel survives. Tufty says always cross the street with your mummy.

OUR ANALYSIS: the film's subliminal message is obvious. Tufty makes it very clear that if you don't do things his way, you'll be hurt, terribly.

ABOUT OUR ANALYSIS: Anti-Squirrel Coalition experts in the field of subliminal marketing pointed out the following cues and/or stimuli to support our conclusion:

The use of an ice cream truck represents the decline of civiliztion. Why? Everyone know that ice cream trucks are operated by out-of-work party clowns and down on their luck mimes. (PLEASE! no letters from disgruntled clowns/mimes. That includes you, Clown Happy! We're just stating a fact.)

Ice cream represents our humanity. Here, it precedes pain. Thus, we are encouraged to turn to the skwerl-side.

In the film, Tufty follows his mummy to the ice cream truck. No "normal" child would ever let their mummy get to the truck first. Our experts agree that Mummy represents an impenetrable barrier. Thus, Tufty is stating that resistance to skwerl world domination is futile.

The weasel (looking remarkably like an unemployed ET) survives. Our experts calculated the speed of the car that hit Willy Weasel at over 100 mph. Clearly, he should have been killed instantly. This imagery is meant to invoke a sense of false security in those that might resist (so they'll be easier to round up later).

Tufty instructs us to always cross the road with our Mummys. Here, the image of a fortress; and its meaning: if you side with Tufty, you will be spared; if not...

READER COMMENTS

The analysis also fails to mention that Tufty had called the Ice Cream Company in advance to set the weasel up ! Tufty then called the Weasel Kid, knowing he would not wait for his Mother, and told him of the impending arrival. This information was gathered from the phone records of Tufty by using the authority of The Patriot Act. ~Signed, Beseiged in Nebraska