THE TUFTY CLUB AND
SQUIRREL WORLD DOMINATION...
HOW TUFTY DID IT
Patriots, as you know, the bushytail horde's quest for squirrel world domination is led by the infamous and maniacal Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel.
Tufty rose to power in the 1960's when he took over the UK's Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) and formed The Tufty Club. From that lofty position he spread the false promises of squirrel world domination via the Kerb Drill, the Tufty Manifesto (aka The Tufty Club Book), and numerous other propaganda tools.
Soon, thousands, perhaps millions of children were proudly wearing their Tufty Club button (pictured above). The button not only identified them as Tufty Clubbers, but as minions in the chitterbox plot for squirrel world domination.
So, after centuries of disinterest in or hostility towards the bushytailed tree rats, the children of the British Isles suddenly, desperately wanted to be swaggering squirrels just like Tufty!
We've exposed many of Tufty's nefarious plots and schemes over the years (see links below), but there's one question we haven't answered: How did Tufty do it? How did he take over the RoSPA?
Tufty's coup was one of the remarkable, albeit disasterous events of the 20th century. He single-handedly induced the RoSPA to create and promote The Tufty Club. And, like a terrorist video, the event is recorded for all to see...
There you have it. Tufty faked a dangerous encounter with speeding vehicles to force RoSPA members Professor Owl and Mr. Policeman Badger to create a skwerlcentric organization, The Tufty Club. Little did they know that they'd become complicit minions of Tufty's plan to destroy humankind and bring squirrel world domination to fruition.
And little did the world know that as the money from Club members poured in that Tufty would create a nutzy juggernaut whose tentacles of oppression stretch around the globe (click Tufty for comment)...
Patriots, we know today that Tufty and his Tufty Club turned many children into dim-watt skwerlhuggers eagerly embracing the false promises of squirrel world domination.
Worse, too many of yesteryear's young Tufty Clubbers are now adult skwerlverts forcing The Tufty Club on today's children.
So, what can be done to stop the spread of squirrel world domination? Patriots already know the answer to that question. It's always do the right thing by opposing the slavering chitterboxes wherever and whenever they dare to gambol.
JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS
And if you're already in its clutches, it's not too late to turn from the skwerlside. We encourage you to join SkwerlHuggers Anonymous to begin your bright road to recovery.
THE TUFTY MANIFESTO
MR. POLICEMAN BADGER
HOW TUFTY CROSSES THE ROAD
THE KERB DRILL EXPOSED
THE TUFTY CLUB RECORD
TUFTY'S GANG SIGNS AND SONG SHEET
THE ICE CREAM VAN INCIDENT
THE WILLY WEASLE STORY
TUFTY'S FOUR FILMS (DIE VIER FILME)
TUFTY BUSTS A RHYME
TUFTY'S RoSPA HOMEPAGE
A STRANGER MAY GIVE YOUR CHILD AN INVITATION TO THE DEPRAVED WORLD OF SKWERLHUGGERY. IF YOU FIND THE FOLLOWING, OR SOMETHING SIMILAR TO IT IN
YOUR CHILD'S BELONGINGS, DON'T WAIT, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY...
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