For those that don't know, Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel is the deviant mastermind behind the bushytail plot for squirrel world domination.

While there are many rumors and hearsays about Tufty, a persistant controversy swirls around a period in time, roughly 1971-1997 known as Tufty's Missing Years.

Our research into the Missing Years led to the conclusion that Tufty never disappeared from the scene. He simply went through a number of makeovers to shield him from his enemies, and blind the ignorant and innocent to his nefarious schemes (see links below for more information). Others dispute our conclusions. Theories regarding the period in question abound.

Perhaps the most inexorable conspiracy theory associated with the Missing Years is that the original Tufty died in 1971. His followers then buried Tufty in a secret location somewhere in England. Thereafter, a new nutzy ascended to the throne assuming the role and title of "Tufty" (click Tufty for comment).

This theory gained widespread popularity when a discarded hanky was discovered buried under a hedge near Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex, England. The hanky is decorated with the image of Tufty and some of his many stooges. Was this Tufty's death shroud? Many thought so.

Soon after, a second shroud surfaced in England. Then a third shroud was uncovered near Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada in 2001.

After intense study, our experts concluded that these so-called shrouds were nothing more than soiled handkerchiefs cast away after use. But others disagreed. They postulated that the first shroud had covered the original Tufty's cold, dead body; and that subsequent Tuftys were buried by the minions of squirrel world domination in the same manner.

Now, a FOURTH "shroud" has been discovered in Essex, England...

A FOURTH SHROUD?

    
FROM L-R: SHROUDS 1, 2, AND 3 - CLICK FOR LARGE VERSIONS

Patriots, we still maintain that these so-called shrouds are nothing more than discarded hankies. However, conspiracy theorists are abuzz. They note that the fourth shroud has nothing in common with the second and third except for size. Moreover, testing indicates that the fourth shroud approximates the age of first shroud, and the graphics on one and four are similar. For example, there are no "authority figures" on the first and fourth shrouds.

What does this mean? Probably nothing except that the older shrouds (#2-3) picture Tufty's criminal cadre as much stronger in later years.

Nonetheless, proponents of the Shroud Theory calculate that Shroud Four is one-half the size of the original, and it's approximately the same age as Shroud One. Notably, each shroud was found in a different location. This leads to only one reasonable conclusion according to some shroud theorists: Tufty's followers preserved some of his fur and distributed it wrapped in "shrouds" to the faithful around the globe much in the same way that bits and pieces of holy personages are scattered and enshrined in churches and temples worldwide (click Tufty and Willie Weasel for comment).

Needless to say, this latest theory only fuels the debate surrounding Tufty's Missing Years. Did he pass on to be replaced by another "Tufty"? Are the discarded hankies really the shrouds of past Tuftys? Or, is it all a hoax to distract us from Tufty's villainous plans for squirrel world domination?