PATRIOT PAUL'S TUFTY'S HAZY DAY IS A TALE OF DRUG ABUSE AND SEXUAL DEVIANCE. IT'S PROBABLY RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY...

BUT FOR THOSE EASILY OFFENDED BY GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF THE PERVERSE, WE RESPECTFULLY SUGGEST YOU LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR CUTE SKWERL STORIES.

FOR THE REST OF YOU DEVIANTS, WE'VE TONED DOWN PATRIOT PAUL'S STORY A BIT - YOU HAVE TO GUESS AT THE "BAD" WORDS, BUT WE'RE CONFIDENT YOU ALL HAVE VIVID IMAGINATIONS. OR, YOU CAN CLICK ON THE WORD "CENSORED" TO PLAY A LITTLE GAME OF HANGSKWERL AND GET THE BAD WORD THAT WAY.

ALSO, WE'VE PASSWORD PROTECTED THE STORY WITH OUR EXCLUSIVE CHEESY-CHECK AGE VERIFICATION SYSTEM. BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD TO GUESS THE PASSWORD THAT'LL TAKE YOU TO PAGE ONE...

OK, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, CLICK BELOW FOR...

PATRIOT PAUL'S