Patriots, how many times must we ask the same question: Why do some people bind themselves to the false promises of squirrel world domination?

Is it that they lack the moral fiber to resist the bushytail horde's demonic lure? Do they believe that their place in a skwerlien future will be secure and bountiful if they bow to their nutzy overlords now?

Case in point, skwerlhugger Steve Baker's web site, Stinky's Corn Castle, an online shrine to Stinky the Neighborhood Squirrel...

Click here for tune Here Comes Stinky in windows media format

While skwerlhugger Steve adorns Stinky's Corn Castle with numerous photos of Stinky and Stinky's friends, he reveals little about the chitterbox's plans and goals. In fact, Steve doesn't even reveal the Corn Castle's location (although we believe it to be located in or near Berkeley, Michigan).

However, comments such as "I like to watch over my kingdom" and "Stinky... crawls up to his throne" leave little doubt that the skwerlball is a Demogorgon from the wrong side of Perdition's gates.

More disturbing is the chronological order of the photos. There are six "volumes" spanning the period May-June 2000 to May-June 2001. Then nothing.

What happened? It could be that Stinky was taken out by a neighborhood Patriot. Or perhaps there was some sort of regime change during which Stinky was deposed by one of his underlings.

More likely, Stinky decided that skwerlhugger Steve had outlived his usefulness. After all, the Corn Castle was an impressive tribute, but too much exposure might bring unwanted attention to the nutzy's misdeeds.

And what happened to Steve? Our investigation of pages linked from the Corn Castle indicates that Stinky washed Steve's memory and turned him into... a musician (see link below; click Stinky for comment).

Patriots, let this be a lesson to those who foster the false promises of squirrel world domination. The bushytail horde has no plan to reward your traitorous efforts. Consider Steve Baker's pitiful fate and understand, the slavering skwerlballs want only to grab your nuts and run...

ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Are you shocked by Stinky's crimes and desperate to avoid Steve Baker's terrible fate? Are you prepared to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...

JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS