Fall is harvest season, and October is the harvest month in the northern hemisphere. It's the time for harvest festivals, county fairs, Halloween, and that last plunge in the ol' swimmin' hole before winter sets in.
Well, Patriots, what was once a carefree time of year has been co-opted into a season of skwerlien debauchery. For, as many of you know, the second week in October was declared National Squirrel Awareness week in 2000 (England proceeded the States with its own Red Squirrel Week in 1998).
We're not quite sure who to blame for this commemoration. Also note that the starting date varies from year-to-year, place-to-place. For example, there's seems to be disagreement as to when the second week in October starts. Some say it begins on the Sunday after the first full week. Others begin festivities on the first Sunday of the month (unless the first Sunday is the first day of the month...). It's confusing, but the week's timing and who's responsible for it isn't as important as what to do about it.
Sure, we could intiate a campaign to do away with this national embarrassment. Or, perhaps we should promote Skwerl Awareness Week as a time to drive the bushytails back into their forest hovels where they can gambol around with all their skwerlvert eco-terrorist friends. Then we could release an army of famished wolves into the forest and... well, you can see where we're going with this...
Patriots, send us your thoughts regarding National Squirrel Awareness Week. We'll publish your comments during Squirrel Awareness Week. And yes, you skwerlhuggers can submit your opinions, too.
OCTOBER 07-13, 2007 IS SQUIRREL AWARENESS WEEK
PATRIOTS, GIT YER WHACKIN' STICKS
The next National Skwerl Awareness Week begins in
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WHAT WILL YOU DO DURING
SKWERL AWARENESS WEEK?
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HEY! THE NEXT
NAT'L SQUIRREL AWARENESS WEEK
BEGINS OCTOBER 05, 2008
Click to send Skwerlweek postcard
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WHAT WILL YOU DO DURING SQUIRREL AWARENESS WEEK?
OUR READERS COMMENT (2007)
I'll build a theatre for them, with flats to perform on and a loft in which to raise their families!
I"m not sure --Starve my cat the week before?????
i will feed them trail mix with viagra
I live in London, Ontario, Canada, and the squirrel may become our city emblem - how fitting for a red-necked city to have a rodent as a mascott!! There are millions of them here, so many that dogs are not allowed to run free in parks - which is a crime. They do nothing except get in the garbage......lets send them all to Iran...or China...then they would have an extra dish on their table.
BUY THEM THE BEST OF NUTS
I will praise my niece every time she says in her cute little 2-year-old voice, "Squirrels are nasty."
I will hide my nuts!
Light every durn little squirrel tail on fire.
Catch the damn things and relocate them.
I rehabbed 3 baby squirrels!
I'm making some homemade traps to put in my backyard and hopefully by the weekend I'll have enough for some squirrel stew.
i will be happy!!!
Feed the skwerls steriods so they can get big and strong and take over the world!
you need to shoo the little varmet
Hit them with a stick!
try to love and not hate squirls even if the are evil or deamons
Don't you know that squirrels have a direct line to god? Well now you do: http://michellewatersart.com/social1.html
i love squirrels so please don't kill them they just like seeing if you have food
For those that have pity on the bastards, I have a half dead tree in my yard the squirrels ate all the bark off of, a large vegetable garden that has been decimated (I did not even get one squash out of it this year), flowers that have been torn down and eaten.... I going to go on a killing spree soon.
Chew bubble gum, break off pieces about the size of a pea, cover it with peanut butter and leave it in their pathway. They will eat it and they can't "pass" it and they die. Has worked for me for years.
i love squirrels as much as all of you do. Me and my mom put corn and nuts in the backyard to keep them alive!
I will just go on cursing them and being angry at all the money I have spent on plants and they keeping dgging them up by the roots. I alway say if I had a gun I would shoot the little rats but I know I really wouldnt.
getting drunk and cursing at random Skwerls
I will offer yummy tidbits to each and every squirrel I meet during SAW.
put out DECON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will celebrate and revere the noble squirrel. Shame on you all!
i will get my 20 gauge shotgan and start blasting
i will jump for joy and sing a song that goes like this... i love skwerls. they are cool. when i see them i want to leave school. they are fuzzy and make me want to give them huggies. i love skwerls.
ill hit as many jeeps with squrriles but not one squrrile with a jeep.
being a high school janitor i take great pride in knowing all those pizza crusts the kids throw all over the place will be eaten by skwerls and they will get fat and die!
sick my dog on them!
I plan to shave one. That would be hot.
perhaps I would arm the little sweeties and have them take out a few hunters...
Stare at squirrels
I will put out walnuts for all the squirrels that live in my yard.
I can't take the skwerlhugger's overly positive approach. There is an overflow of the critters in my town,and they are giving them birth control. What a waste, skwerls actually do make good snacks.
fire crackers and bottle rockets
I will give them 1000 nuts if they take over the world for me.
destroy every squirrel i can find in the most efficient manner possible. perhaps a stick.
I will revive the old college tradition of squirrel fishing.In my left hand, I will take a peanut on a string to lure them in, and then give them the bloody end they deserve with the baseball bat in my right. Im not afraid of you PETA pussies
I will make a holiday called skwerl wacking day. My friends and i will go out with long beating sticks and wack them down from the tree. It will we similiar to baby seal hunts, but instead of hunting fat things on ice, we will be hunting the RATS OF THE TREES.
I will promote the slogan I just this moment invented: Hurl A Skwerl, Give it a whirl! - Tim McNutt, Canadian
All of you supposilly tree rat lovers if you say but i say all of you are tree rats!!If i find one of you tree rats i will send you to a camp that will change your mind. You hear me you'll betray eachother and will bring more to this camp and you will all be my tree rat slaves and yo'll all die. P.S. I'm sorry if i went to far and insulted any one.
Skwerls are natures speedbumps.
I'll buy about seven cats the week before, starve them, then let them go to town on the little buggers, Then I'll probly just curl up in a corner and scream for dear life.
Pull out the ol' 30-06
Be aware of the little communist tree rats that invest and chew on whatever they can get their little paws on that you people call squirells.I have slane many of these beasts with my pellet gun at 1000 feet per second. I have ballistic tip pellet and 18K gold ballistic alloy that go supersonic so the little boogers never see it [or hear it comming ]this is over kill for even a racoon.
~click here for wallpaper version (1024x768)
i will make a special air delivery of lead pellets directed to them at about 800 feet per second so they won't starve in the winter.....
Shoot some of them tree rats and make hats out of their tails.
Have delicious Squirrel Burgers
WHAT DO YOU MEEN "WHAT WILL I DO?" WHAT? DO YOU HTINK I HAVE NOTHING TO DO ORT SOMETHING!!!!! WELL I SAY SCREW YOU!!!!!!! btw i love skwerls too just like you peeps but STILL D YOU THINK I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO??
lock'n load mutha f@#$er. i'll load my .22 rifle and set upon my yearly quest to cleanse the world of the fluffy menace.
0mg, i am really scared, the squirrels are following me and hitting me in the dark
OKAY, i have read sum pretty wierd comments bout skwerls on this website, and sum r nice 2, like yeah sum peeps like em and sum dont, but i like skwerls, like i like totally have a skwerl, i had 3 but 2 of em died,so sad, but N E way, i think skwerls r cool, and all u peeps who dont think skwerls r the awsomeness, screw ya'll. Ya'll just dont know how awsome skwerls really r. OMG, like, i read one,it was bout this person, He/She found a baby skwerl that had fallin out of a tree but sadly it died, that happened 2 me 2, but like it lived for like 2 weeks, but N E way, Ya'll peeps out there who dislike squirrels, and want 2 blow they heads off, i thinf=k ya'll got sum Mental problems, so why dont ya'll ho see a therapist, k, Peace out, LOVE DA SKWERLS, N E one who likes Skwerls is a friend of mine, unless ya'll r like sum gothic freak, or got sum kind of mental problems, then ya'll aint no friends of mine, Chemo!!~ *Katie.T.
I will marry a squirrel and flaunt it in front of christian fundamentalists
I will probably go hunt some skwerls
Worship all the squirrels!!!!!!!!
i will go to the zoo
im gonna throw nuts at my neighbours and then im gonna throw the rest on my neighbours lawn so all the squirrels in the neighbourhood come and tear up their lawn cuz i HATE the people that live across the street from me and they deserve it...then im gonna attack everyone at school and tell them that its squirrel awareness week
kill as many as i can, and than probly eat them all after i cook them over a rotisory with bbq sauce
i will love the squirrel. like the squirrel it is. and that is all. i think....
Skwerl pie... Skwerl stew... skwerl sausage... creamed skwerl over biscuits and gravy... skwerl stuffing... skwerl and rice... skwerl 'puddin... roasted skwerl... baked skwerl... country fried skwerl... SKWERL!!!!!
gather donations to help skwirls
Pet as many squirrels as i can.Befriend them and they will spare u and have mercy!!!!!
I'm going to take my squirrel to the Blue Bayou restaurant in Disneyland, feed him a nice tasty filet mignon, then soak him in rum and hand him over to the Pirates of the Carribean to eat for dinner.
Feeding and caring for baby ground squirrels as a wildlife rehabber in houston texas
i have some good recipies for squirrel stew if anyone wants them. goes well with biscuits and gravy for breakfast. or squirrel and eggs instead of steak and eggs. keep in mind. squirrels are animals. and for every animal that exists, chefs have come up with at least 2 dishes to make. squirrels, its whats for dinner.
anti squirrel weaponry sale at carter's country. 22s and scopes 15% off.
watching the yankees
I shall tease our woodsy friends with delectable nut, holding them just outside their little squirrel hands driving them just to the verge of insanity.
Then, at the last minute I shall run, and with a gang of the little critter giving chase I shall drop my tasty cargo of seed into some unsuspecting bloke’s trouser pocket. Then stand back and enjoy the madness....then get lunch..maybe pizza.
Shooting Skwerls
Ya know, I thought this was a fun little site with some clever banter about skwerls...then I started reading some of the comments below. E-Gad!!! Forget the skwerls, a lot of you need psychicatiric help. I don't fear skwerls half as much as some of you sick individuals.
I will dress up in a viking helmet and wookie boots and perform a dance using glow sticks and silly putty to communicate my emotions.
Torment my friend who hates squirrels! This is a great website!
It wasn't about squirrels- but I like the billboard saying "There is room for all God's creatures; right next to the mashed potatoes." They're fine in the wild. Otherwise they chew on the wires in your car, come through your roof and make holes in your yard. It should be a felony to knowingly feed them in town.
Used to hat'm til I at 'em
Load up on grenades, Automatic weapons, tanks etc... Then shoot me some trophies.
you probably eat them too, don't you? Hope you choke on one!
I am hoping to celebrate all week long, since by then we'll hopefully have gotten rid of all of the scary skwerls terrorizing me from our attic!! They also ate all of my summer tomatoes, sitting on my porch steps and looking at me all the while. Maybe I'll chuck the leftover, rotting ones at any trespassing skwerls trying to enter our home!
TRY TO GET MY BABY BACK
We must inicerate them pig after pig, cow after cow...
Among other nasty things squirrels do they also spread ringworm and other diseases to humans (through objects the diseased squirrels come in contact with that people later touch). They should be treated like other vermin. just because some look pretty doesn't mean they are not a hazard.
hide
Squirrels aren't that bad.... whats wrong with you people!!
My Daughter and Her Friend one year dressed up as Squirrel farmers for Halloween, so now every year for her birthday, I send her a card with a squirrel on it and I say have a squirrely day!
What do crows call a dead squirrel in the middle of the road? BREAKFAST!
Avenge them!
Find squirrel haters and wack them!
make sure my backyard friend (Lena) has enough peanuts to eat.....She's been a mascott at my work place since her Toddler years, her Mother has moved on and left her daughter, she did leave her son (Rocky) too but, Lena took over the territory and her brother departed.
TRY TO SHOOT THE 99TH AND 100TH SKWERL TO TOP OFF MY TOTAL!! DOWN WITH THE TREE RATS!!
I'll put a squirrel in a box. Put that box inside of another box. Mail the box to myself, and when it arrives... I'll smash it with a hammer.
Absolutely nothing
CRUSH!...KILL!...DESTROY!...CRUSH!...KILL!...DESTROY!
Dubya is a squirrel hater! Death to all Squirrel haters and Republicans! Equally repugnant and equally as bad for the USA.
Do they tast any better during squirrel week? There the best, after grillen and basten.
Gerald and I are going out tonight and sit under a local walnut tree to celebrate squirrel week. With some luck, it will be biscuits with squirrel gravy in the morning. M-M-Mh
Honor the furry creatures. Celebrate National Squirrel Awareness Week.
i will aim at them while they are trying to cross the road, thus, lubricating my tires
Make the squirrels stop talking to me!!! They're trying to get me to rob k*Mart!...k*Mart has low prices. They have Vault 6 packs for 98cents. Bet you didn't know that! STOP SQUIRRELS! I WILL NOT TAKE OVER k*MART! NO STOP TALKING TO ME!
catch em strangle em skin em in a public park like i alwiz do
I'munna do sumthin skwurlley but m'frenn greg iz'unna take them raskalls for a ride in'iz car t'the park by the uhbandinned skule howse over by Flint road.
Feeding walnuts and soynuts
celebrating with all of my squirrel girls. we celebrate squirrel awareness week here at school as our mascot is the squirrel. =)
I bought a special .22 cal squirrel load just to use on them. It's called Aguila Super Colibri and it makes a .22 almost silenced. Pffft...scratch one squirrel!
Take aim, and possibly get a gray bushy tail for adorning my car's antenna.
Talk to every squirrel I see. And wish em a happy squirrel week!
i will have a party and invite all my skwerliest friends and we will eat nut cake and nut ice cream.
i'll get my .22 to make some skwerl stew
I swear im gonna kill every last one of those MOfo's i dont care if it takes me all winter. PS i dont give a damn about squirrel awareness week , day , month , minute, year etc. Well you get the picture.Put it like this "Last supper" The End. From DC in CT
i will kill djlilsquirrel...infects the rhode island college campus...promises really horrible squirrly mixtapes.
Observe them
I will make sure that the squirrels at home and at work are well fed.
i luv squirrels...i think we should celebrate by making squirrel feeders and giving semenars on how to speak squirrel. i'm a speaker myself!
It seems that no matter what I try I cannot rid myself of these mange infested bastards, so I am in the process of making a anti-freeze/nut dinner for the pesky buggers and hope to wipe them out. If this should work I will be makeing up mass quantities and spreading them throughout the parks in my area (out of reach of human cunsumption). If a few stray cats should be taken out, all the better. Next will be the rats with wings, those dung spewing pigeons.
I'm going to be a good squirrel wife and swallow my husbands NUTS!!!!!
Terminate with EXTREME Prejudice!!!!
i shall feed the poor little things there so cute.....
I will stop speaking human and start speaking in chitters
Feed the skwerl who lives behind my shop his very own, brand new cheese pizza. This way, he will not need to dine on someone's leftovers.
I will build a golden shrine surrounded by a moat of liquid diamonds for them
A squirrel in every pot!
I will bait the largest rat trap i can find ( after all what are squirrels but tree hugging rats) with the best peanut butter i can find and when it falls victim i'll be standing there with a shovel to finish the job and that'll wipe the peanut butter smile right off it's face!!!
Hope the squirrels will not learn to be colliers squirrels and fire bad.
Probably hunt them.. beware if you shoot them with a arrow they may run. It can make a uncomfortable situation with the neighbors to see your target running down the street with a arrow. Happy Hunting
Fortunatly, During Skwerl Awareness Week, All the squirrels will put evil spells on all those here who wrote "sick" ways to hurt skwerls! "Skwerls Rule" Go get em! I would be VERY careful after the spells go into effect if I were one who writes saddistic things!!
THINK WE MADE SKWERL AWARENESS WEEK UP?
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