Patriots, what compels a person to forsake humankind and embrace skwerlhuggery? Do they wake up one day, look around, and say "I've had enough of this crap! I'm turning to the skwerl-side!" Or are they seduced and deluded by bushytail promises of a brave new world?
Pathetic skwerlhuggers have all sorts of rationalizations for their descent into the skwerlien abyss. But their reasons for staying the course are based on nutzy promises that squirrel world domination will result in a better life for all.
Unfortunately, we know that skwerlball pledges to build a better tomorrow are really false promises; what we call the False Promises of squirrel world domination.
Where did the False Promises come from? Legend has it that they were first made to a young girl living in the Ural Mountains of eastern Europe over 600 years ago, Anzhelika Smirnov.
As the story goes, Anzhelika was gathering berries outside her village when she was approached by a Mysterious Bushytailed Stranger. Although her first instinct was to run, the girl listened to the stranger's words. The stranger said that civilization would survive only if it accepted squirrel world domination. In exchange, the bushytail horde promised to make life better for all humankind (click Mysterious Bushytailed Stranger for comment).
Anzhelika hurried home, reported her encounter, and was burned at the stake as a witch; but word of the False Promises spread. Eventually, they were incorporated into the blaspheme of Orthodox Skwerlhuggery.
Of course, the minions of squirrel world domination protest our characterization of the slavering nutzys' promises as "false". But we know better.
Consider their promise of peace on earth. As you will see in the video below, the bushytail horde's vision of a peaceful planet does not include the human species...
A brave new world, but no room for humankind in the skwerlien utopia.
|CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO PROOF: PEACE ON EARTH|
There you have it, a skwerlien vision of the future that only those in deepest denial would accept and all the more reason we must dedicate ourselves to the defeat of squirrel world domination (click skwerl for comment).
And how do we accomplish this? We would not presume to have the definitive answer to this all important question. But as Peace on Earth implies, we can not hope to crush the bushytail horde under the jackboot of freedom until we put our own house in order.
not all skwerls want world domination!.. some skwerls enjoy the peaceful, mutually beneficial relationship that exists between humans and squirrels... please, reject this platform of tyranny that is set forth by only the most radical of my kind!.. that and throw us some unsalted nuts occasionally... XD
Hello im squeaky a squirrel.and this is real we shall take over the planet and rule the earth!run tiny humans RUN!!!!!!! we have weapons of mass destruction and if you do not plant nut trees prepare to die. i like the website!
Foul Vermin. Just ask my Yorkie. Wesley is on a mission to rid the yard of these creatures.
This is conclusive proof that skwerls were trying to lull us into staying out of World War II, and in so doing let the Nazis take over the world. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ...a time of war and a time of peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Time to go hunt up some skwerl melts!
my opinion is that if all squrriels were like foamy the squrriel the world would be a much better place to live and all the stupid retards in the world would be dead. also did you notice that there's only one letter different in the words world and would isn't that weird.
Evidentally, men have not learned much since 1939. Is it any wonder squirrels are poised for world domination?
wow thats odd but sssssssooooooo cool
omg!!!! i knew it squirrels are an evil race. but they wont be the one ruling the world it will be me!!!!!! damn those squirrels... damn them to hell!!!! muahahahahahaha
I agree! and have done so my whole life! even before i found this website I was a believer!!!!
See, I've been telling people for years the squirrels are evil. they are little tiny nazi's, who are in fact merely a sub-breed of the true squirrel. The true squirrels are not only nazis, but also hyper-intelligent. We must not let them succeed. we must rise to defeat them. I have been working towards this end, but even with all my ninja skills, there are simply too many of them.
it is so cute and shit but it is so stuped who likes squirrels not me i hit one with a car
umm......... i reject your opinion on squirrelhuggery it sucks and its a bad idea
Squirrels are natures tree rats. They are stupid and just plain ingnorant. They aint american and they need to get out.
This is evidence of why all squirrels should be killed. That way, they can't take over after all the humans have killed each other. The dolphins will become the dominate speciese.
I have many of their pelts hanging on my wall. Nuff sed.
I support skwerls!!!! They promised a better life for all supporters to me. Although they wipe out all resistors.
That I want to go out and plant powerful explosives in some forests!YEEHA!
WAY TO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS!
We should make peace with the skwerls all over the worid except for those god d**m chinese skwerls.
this is your future, K.
ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Are you appalled by the bushytail horde's plan to destroy civilization? Are you prepared to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...
JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS
CLICK TO HEAR TUFTY SING
BAD MOON RISING
in mp3 format
THE ROUGH GUIDE TO A BETTER WORLD
MORE SPECIAL REPORTS
FROZEN SQUIRREL ALERT
A HABITAT FOR SKWERLHUGGERY
ARE DEAD SQUIRRELS FUN
THE SQUIRREL HUNTER'S DISCHARGE
SQUIRREL WORLD DOMINATION EXPOSED
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