Patriots, on April 07, 2001, a patriot in Ireland was watching a rugby match on TV when an odd Guinness Stout commercial came on. Those familiar with Guinness commercial campaigns know that oddness is a hallmark of the company's marketing efforts. However, this commecial went beyond novelty to downright disturbing.

Known as The Dream Club, the commercial opens with a group of regular guys and their "champion" in a pub. The champion's role is to sleep, dream, and awaken after discovering something meaningful about life. The horror begins when the champion's dream includes a pub full of skwerls.

Needless to say, this commercial raised concerns about Guinness. Had the venerable brewery turned to the skwerlside? Is drinking Guinness safe or does it contain some sort of mind altering drug that turns imbibers into drooling skwerlverts?

This latter question was on the mind of the Patriot who originally brought the commercial to our attention. He stated that his preferred brew is Murphey's, but he was worried about his friends who celebrated St. Patrick's Day by going to Mass and then downing copious amounts of Guinness...

Anyway, we still receive queries about this commercial and those queries pick up around St. Patrick's Day. We believe we can allay concerns that the Guinness Brewery is a minion of squirrel world domination. First, view the movie; then consider our conclusions below:

CLICK FOR THE DREAM CLUB

After viewing this commercial, our experts spent the better part of a quarter hour debating the significance of The Dream Club. We conclude that Guinness is innocent of promoting squirrel world domination for the following reasons:

1) Although the champion dreamer orders a Guinness, he never touches it. He simply falls asleep. Apparently, the members of the Dream Club don't drink. Therefore, his mind is not being controlled by a secret chitterbox drug.

2) When the squirrel wakes from a dream, it immediately begins chugging a pint without any further discussion or consideration of his dream's significance. This appears to be some sort of repulsive, substance abuse problem rather than an attempt to portray the maniacal nutzys as proper role models (click skwerl for comment).

3) On the other hand, the champion becomes involved in his dream, follows it to the end, and discovers the meaning of life in the process (we're not told what the meaning is, but it must be kinda funny for some reason...).

4) However, most telling of all is what's on the wall behind the champion...

There you have it, Patriots. Dead, stuffed skwerls are proof positive that Guinness is not spreading the false promises of squirrel world domination through its commercials. If anything, it's encouraging slavering bushytails to devolve into hopeless drunks.

Thus, while we encourage everyone to exercise good judgment and drink responsibly, it's certainly safe to drink your fill of delicious Guinness on the happiest day of the year, St. Patrick's day.