Patriots, it's common knowledge that the bushytail horde spends much of it's time sabotaging the cornerstones and conveniences of our civilization.
From the electrical power grids to the insulation in your attic, the maniacal nutzys will stop at nothing to destroy our world and bring squirrel world domination to fruition.
So it should come as no surprise that skwerls are downright pathological when it come to their hatred of automobiles.
This hostility actually started with the invention of the wheel 1000's of years ago. The wheel led to horse drawn vehicles and shortly after that the first skwerl was run over.
The situation worsened as humankind's use of wheels and roads advanced until an untold number of slavering bushytails are run over every day around the globe.
Moreover, the slavering chitterboxes seem incapable of adapting and learning to cross roads safely. This in spite of Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel's "Kerb Drill", an exercise designed to teach the bushytail horde how to traverse any road with impunity (see The Kerb Drill Doesn't Work link below).
As a result, skwerls never miss an opportunity to vandalize vehicles of any sort, but especially cars. For example, marmots are known to chew through radiator hoses in alpine areas stranding motorists (see The Big Chill link below). But skwerls are also infamous for seizing vehicles, ripping the innards out, or even using them for nests and/or storage facilities.
Consider the pleas for help we recently received from two unfortunate victims:
"Squirrels just cost me 3000.00 dollars in repairs to my suv. How can i prevent them from returning and doing it again?"
"What are the nesting habits of the squirrel. Basically I would like to know how long I need to check my engine in my car and keep moth balls in it. Thank You."
To the questions above, we can offer the following:
• If the car is parked for "long" periods in the same spot, moving it on a regular basis may help.
• Have the engine compartment steam cleaned to remove any scent left by the squirrel or that may be attracting the squirrel. And just to be sure, have the under-carriage cleaned and detail the entire car.
• Make sure there are no nearby food sources, especially bird feeders. The farther away the food source, the less likely it is that the squirrel will invade your car.
• The most radical solution is to have a heavy gauge wire mesh installed under your car. Of course, this is both expensive and impractical in terms of getting the car serviced and/or getting the mesh snagged on something, but we know one person who actually did it, twice, the first time the wire mesh wasn't thick enough and the squirrel chewed through it...
Patriots, the solutions offered above are by no means fool proofor all-inclusive. You must remain ever-vigilant against these malicious incursions by the bushytail horde. Don't assume that your vehicle is immune to chitterbox vandalism or squatting. Let your guard down and you might be faced with this...
HORRIFIC 5 SECOND CLIP OF BUSHYTAIL CAR SQUATTING - CLICK TO PLAY