Patriots, you've heard it said "stupid is as stupid does." And the following news article certainly needs no additional introduction...

Squirrel attacks man with nuts
Agence France-Presse
Tuesday, November 27, 2001 – Print Edition, Page A12

LONDON -- A part-time inventor who went for a woodland stroll to test his latest contraption, a bird-feeding hat, said yesterday that he was knocked over and hurt by a hungry squirrel.

Mike Madden, 48, was walking through a wooded area near his house in Huddersfield, northern England, when a large grey squirrel spied nuts on a feeding tray mounted on top of Mr. Madden's head.

The squirrel leaped from the top of a tree and landed with such force that Mr. Madden was knocked to the ground. Whiplash was later diagnosed.

The would-be inventor said he has been taking painkillers and wearing a neck brace since the accident happened a week ago. He said he had only just begun walking "when kaboom, I was on the floor."

Mr. Madden designed the hat so birds could use it while he was walking because he was concerned about their winter food supplies.

"Someone told me afterwards that with it coming up to winter and food being so short, squirrels can be quite aggressive and opportunistic," he said.

"I wish I'd known that before. It felt solid when it hit me but I was lucky really because it could have taken my head off." Mr. Madden said his bird feeder was destroyed in the assault.

He has since vowed not to build another.

As for squirrels, he commented: "I have always liked squirrels. But once you've had one land on your head at about 30mph, you can easily go off them."

Patriots, we're pretty much confounded as to why anyone would think that wearing a birdfeeder is 1) a good way to feed birds; and 2) wouldn't invite some sort of chitterbox disaster!

However, we note that Mr. Madden came to his senses and went "off" skwerls (click pic to hear him threaten bushytail). So, we suppose all's well that ends well... or is it?

click to give your opinion
cite page as The Mad Hatter


WANT 5 MINUTES OF FUN? PLAY NO HATS