Patriots, it seems that every time we publish a photo or story about chipmunks, we receive emails from those who do not know that chimpunks are, in fact, skwerls. Here's a recent example:
Although the writer above eloquently states their objection to a featured photo, they're simply wrong. Chipmunks in all their various flavors are an over-agitated member of the squirrel family, Sciuridae. There are 25 known species and even if they slow down for a minute, it's pretty hard to tell one from the other. The photo that caught the emailer's attention follows:
Awwwwwww, cute, right? Wrong. As long time readers know, we've published article after article documenting chippunk attacks and atrocities aimed at bringing squirrel world domination to fruition.
The proof is in the pudding - horrific chipmunk attacks on film - click to view
Patriots, this is the point where we usually admonish you to do the right thing and propose ways to banish the chipster menace from the face of the earth. Propasals such as Mars Needs Chipmunks as a way to reinvigorate the space program and a new law to restrain chippunks from coming within 2000 feet of any human come to mind.
CHIPMUNK FISHING CLIPS AND BONUS SONG ABOUT THE SPORT - CLICK SCREENSHOTS TO VIEW
There you have it. Chipmunks are skwerls and they are part of the bushytail horde's plan for squirrel world domination. Fortunately, there are many solutions to the problem and with a little effort a maniacal chippunk can even become a pleasant diversion on a summer day.
WIKIPEDIA CHIPMUNK PAGE
NAT'L GEOGRAPHIC CHIPMUNK FACT SHEET
MORE CHIPPY FACTS
ARE DEAD SQUIRRELS FUN?