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scary squirrel world
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SKWERL SAYS...
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FROM TIME TO TIME WE RECEIVE SKWERL PHOTOS FROM FOLKS; SOMETIMES WE SNAG ONE WE LIKE FROM A PHOTO DUMP. MOST HAVE LITTLE OR NO COMMENT TO EXPLAIN THE PICTURE. SO WE FIGURE MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US OUT. TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW, THEN TELL US WHAT THE CHITTERBOX IS THINKING OR SAYING USING THE HANDY FORM. WE'LL PUBLISH YOUR RESPONSES EVERY FEW DAYS, AND PUT UP A NEW PIC EVERY WEEK OR SO.
SKWERL SAYS:
Watch it pointy beak. this is MY tree. you could put someone's eye out with that bloody thing.
BIRD. WAAAAAWK, WAAAAWWWK! Work! Work! Bring me more little worms and things for my young ones! I want to create a whole horde of redheaded giant birds!
SQUIRREL. I don't think that's...such a good idea. Can I get my weekly nut bag? I need my nourishment like all of God's creatures.
BIRD. Evil, you are EEEE-VILLE! I'll give you your nut bag, but just you keep in mind that you are a little goblin and that spiritually, you do not deserve it.
SQUIRREL. So, what brand of coffee do you drink, exactly? Or, do you absorb it in some other way that I don't want to know about.
oops, sorry...wrong tree...i was looking for Drinky Crow. He owes me money.
And your hiding behind that branch why? Maby its because you know your in trouble. I'm sick of you invading my territory and stealing my food!! And if you think your frightening me, Oh you'd better think again. because i'm not leaving this spot until you decide to give me my food back! And this time i'm not taking it back vomited all over my living room floor!! Hey, you get back here right this instant! you can't hide from me. Oh, you are lucky you can fly, why when I get my paws on you you are in for it!!!!
AND WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS? I've been awake all night worried sick! YOUR son has thrown up all over the new cashmere carpet, the dog has diarrhoea and the drains smell like a turkish brothel in a fish market! It's no use hiding behind that branch, my mother always warned me about you, AND you've been drinking, I can smell it on your breath..... For God's sake stop swaying when I speak to you! You can barely hold on to that branch... Lord only knows what I saw in you...
What a nightmare! Nasty Beeeerrrrd! Mammals Rule!!!!
bird: if it's not kats it's skwerls. if it's not skwerls, it's snakes...what's a mother to do comma question mark
skwerl: yea well... m'boss sez, when i croak...he's gonna stuff me like a taxi um dermist, or something, and turn me into a LED mouse mouse running the connecting wire thru my existing tail...
bird: he must be lying...everyone knows when you die, you lose your tail, or um...you know, if you don't exist, how can your tail?
ill kick your butt you old man if you take my nuts again!!
Pretty bird
on tonights reality show it will be squirrel vs bird. stay tuned for a night of great television.
You think you're so cool because you can fly??? Well, squirrels can fly too!!!!! My cousin Filbert does.
Sq: So you're like the knight in that tale who wouldn't let anyone pass over the brigde?
B: Right! None shall pass! None!
Sq: But I...
B: No One!!
Sq: I live ov...
B: NO ONE!!
Sq: Yeah, yeah I hear you... If that's what you want... You are sure now are you?
B: No one shall pass!
Sq: Well, you asked for it. I let you know then that this is not a bridge but a tree, in a forest. And you are not a knight but a plain bird.
B: No, I am the guardian of...
Sq: Let me finish here, please. You are colorful alright, you got dash, and you have a sharp beak there for a lance, perhaps. It hurts anyway... But still- let's face it: you're not a knight holding a magic sword cause you got no hands. And knight's tend to be brave, but stupid.
B: well...
Sq: See them marks in the tree here? It is not a tree tatoo as most ignorant critters would have it! It's a Curse that will Chain you to this very branch, ha!- for as long as this tree is alive!! Thus, I, Squirrel, shall pass here freely, on adjoining branches and trees, whenever I please, with no rush or haste!
B: Merlin! I never belived them childhood stories about the old wizzard, I can see now that I should have! Oh, Merlin, Merlin, you turned against me!
Sq: Merlin? Close enough for you.
What the @#$% is your problem
AAHH!!!!! Why am I being attacked by the Skittles rainbow?
bloody hell! where did you spring from? I was only trying to get to my nest. Whose tree is this anyway?
chitters: hey mr. beenz...there's a skunk following me....will you please get out of my way?!!!
mr. beenz: get blixt!
Once the trippy colors formed an angry bird demon, Maynard realized he shouldn't have eaten those acorns with the purple dots the hippies so cheerfully tossed to him...
What's a poor skwerl gotta go through to suck a few eggs?
You need a breath mint, you stinky bird!
Listen here HUMMER, "Don't be gettin' all SQUIRRELLY on my butt!" I'll give you something you can HUM on!!!
What are you so pissed about??? I told you, 500 peanuts for the cat and another 500 for the dog. Take it or leave it!!!!
hey get off my tree!!!!!!!!!!! now! you weird hummingbird
whoa, talk about high strung!
SQUIRREL. I just want to be friendly.
BIRD. Dammit, leave me alone! I gave you four nuts already.
SQUIRREL. I love your beautiful red head feathers!
BIRD. Stab you with my beak--thusly!
SQUIRREL. I dodge your stab, and I counter with a tail flick!
(WHOOPAH!)
BIRD. Uhhhhh! (falls from tree)
SQUIRREL. Yeah baby!
I TOLD YOU NO!!!!!
Mommeeeeeeeee! Help!
Beat it bird!!!!!!!
My tree...my tree....grrrrr!!! Grrrr!! After eating you I'm going to eat your pretty eggs.
What the folk is WRONG with you, birdy?
What's that? Your birdhouse is on fire? The cat ate your babies? There's a snake in the birdfeeder? Now why would I have anything to do with all that?
I don't know what they were saying, but they are both gorgeous.
I know we were friends just awhile ago, but I got hungry. Don't you think I'm cute anyway?
Oh, $#%@!!! That beak is sharp!
Leave me alone buzzard - breath! Can't you see I'm just a kid?
silly bird! Nuts are for skwerls!!!
Chitters didn't think the remark inappropriate, but clearly Mr. Flutters thought otherwise...
SOMETIMES I HATE MY JOB!
WTF
This egg suckin' skwerl better stay away from that sharp beak!
Boy, you need some anger management there buckaroo
Look, I'm sorry, I just think the color is a little bright that's all...
PHOTO SUBMITTED BY LUCY (CREDIT: BUDDA'S GHOST). TO SUBMIT A PHOTO, USE THE EMAIL LINK BELOW. HI-RESOLUTION JPEGS ARE BEST - UP TO 500K. PLEASE TELL US IF YOU TOOK THE PHOTO OR, IF NOT, WHO TO CREDIT. DON'T BE SHY ABOUT PICTURE QUALITY; IT'S ALL IN FUN. WE'LL TRY TO CLEAN UP COLOR PROBLEMS AND SHARPEN BLURRY IMAGES. LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED AS A PATRIOT OR A SKWERLHUGGER.
FOR THOSE MAKING COMMENTS:
KEEP THE CURSIN' TO A MINIMUM IF
YOU WANT TO SEE 'EM ONLINE!
WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKIN' FOR NEW PHOTOS...
THE FIRST SKWERL: PROTOSCIURUS SAYS
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