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scary squirrel world
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SKWERL SAYS...
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FROM TIME TO TIME WE RECEIVE SKWERL PHOTOS FROM FOLKS; SOMETIMES WE SNAG ONE WE LIKE FROM A PHOTO DUMP. MOST HAVE LITTLE OR NO COMMENT TO EXPLAIN THE PICTURE. SO WE FIGURE MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US OUT. TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW, THEN TELL US WHAT THE CHITTERBOX IS THINKING OR SAYING USING THE HANDY FORM. WE'LL PUBLISH YOUR RESPONSES EVERY FEW DAYS, AND PUT UP A NEW PIC EVERY WEEK OR SO.
SKWERL SAYS:
This is it! I'm never gonna have the boys over for beer and soccer again... always ends in a riot! Now, look at my place!
Just wait until I find some radioactive waste, then this will be YOUR house! Fear the skwerls! You will all be destroyed!
Ok. I don't want to answer that. I just want to know---are you trying to say squirrels are GOOD or BAD!? Oh, well, he says: "Where did all the dang nuts go?"
Dang! My wife shredded the blueprints for this thing and I don't know where this piece goes.
Your next and your little dog, too! MUHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!! You'll be livin in a FEMA trailer suckin formaldehyde when I'm done with ya!!! Wait.... is that a peanut????
Squirrel: -No, I keep tellin you! I'm with the police bomb squad.
Undercover journalist: -!!!! !!! ...?
Squirrel: -What do you mean should "dismantle"?... No, wait, you're right! That's why they didn't let me into the evidence room... There never was one!
That'll teach those damn birds for not paying their protection money. The squirrel mobs OWNS this backyard!
Well, I think i used the House scale upside down?
Professor Deacon says "build me a Menger's sponge"...so like, I'm tellin im..."I don't do Menger's sponge"...so like he throws me and my masterpiece right outta his fungin art class ...mutterbumper...Tanks god they ended the draft, tho....
oh s**t........DOG!!!!!!!!!
I can out-munch them, I can out-cute them, I can out-climb them, I can out-beg them, I can out-chatter them, I can out-decapitate-flower them, I can out-environmentalist them... Now, I can even outbuild them! This prototype for a low budget house is the final proof that cats and dogs are obsolete and should be replaced!
Does anyone have a bottle of Elmer's wood glue?
OMG! WHY DID THEY PUT THIS WEIRD THING IN MY FREAKING MOUTH!........... OH,LOOK SOMETHING I CAN STAND ON WHILE I EAT MY NUTS. WAIT; I CAN'T EAT MY NUTS; I HAVE THIS THING IN MY MOUTH!!!!
now all i need is a lighter
I finally got one over on those EVIL birdies!
The trick to making hamburger patties is you have to squash 'em good--real good! Just put a little blob of meat down there, get your paws nice and flat, and press, press, press in a circular motion. Then take the stick and sculpt out any imperfections. A nice, circular patty is your goal. To cook the hamburger, you need a fire and a fire needs fuel, so do not hesitate to use a human's house as fuel. They have enough houses, they won't notice if you chop one up and use it.
Crunchy outside, with a chewy center!
-Moving to the next chapter in a squirrel's life: the construction of dwellings. Observe how eagerly...
Squirrel: I'm not constructing anything right now, I'm tearing apart! This IKEA do-it-yourself kit you gave me really p... me off! It's for mammals with thumbs and I don't have any!! Rrrr...
Speaker: -Well... moving rapidly on to the next chapter in squirrel behaviour: aggression! And I do belive we are lucky today- this seems to be one of them talking back squirrels- alienated and frustrated by todays urban society.
hi every body i,m skwerly and we are going to have a lot of fun, so lets all make skwerlys!
And if you elect me as Presidnet, I promise 2 ears of corn per day per squirrel.
Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!.....
What bird? I didn't see any bird? What are you talking about?
Sushi? Well, thanks but... no thanks. If we're talking meat products I know what's good: birdbrain!
Ty Pennington has nothing on me!
Hey, wait a minute! This thing is made out of wood, not gingerbread!
This dang communist feeding machine doesn't give me enough food...now it will pay heavy toll! After ripping it apart and eating the insides, I'll smoke this slim blunt of mine.
No wonder it's called a "bird" house...I have to add on another wing!
What's that? You *didn't* put this up for me to tear down and chew on????
After you suck all of the eggs, you gotta tear the birdhouse to pieces! It's a good thing us skwerls are omnivorous.
What no eggs?!?!?!?!
Mmmm, robin, the other white meat!
I have my paws upon the Ouija board. In five seconds I will untie the cord. The ghost will speak and give me directions, I will obey and eat the nutty confections. The dowsing stick between my jaws, will turn itself down towards my claws. I will find water in this field, and peanut trees my seeds will yield. Whew! Rhyming is difficult!
This time I won!!!! Its mine, all mine!! The turf is secure!
Where the heck did that chipmunk go to get those damn nails???? CHINA???
Hey boys, will ya get over here and give me a hand with this?!!
Bartender I'll have another
FLIP THIS HOUSE!!
I know I'm bad, but you can't stay mad at me...I'm too cute!
That's right, bring me 100 peanuts right now, or the baby birds get it!!!!!!!
No food in the birdfeeders today? Then I'll eat the bird house. That'll teach you lazy homeowner to refill the feeders every day.
I need a new hobby
Anger management classes hadn't helped Chitters at all...
Ok, maybe I should skip the roofing business and stick to politics.
This is how you get rid of the competition at the bird feeder!
I never let those birds in my neighborhood!!
NOTICE TO VACATE, BAYYYYYYYBEEEE!!!!
i am building my new home.
I blame the Republicans for my violent behavior
Birdhouse: it's not just for birds any more!
Welcome to 'This Old BirdHouse'! Today we begin remodeling a birdhouse,to become a charming squirrelian 1-bedroom home w/AC & aerial view...
Skwerl proof? HA!
House for sale.
Anyone got a light?
I think I will eat this dume thing. But....... First I will have to tare it down
PHOTO SUBMITTED BY DUSTIN. TO SUBMIT A PHOTO, USE THE EMAIL LINK BELOW. HI-RESOLUTION JPEGS ARE BEST - UP TO 500K. PLEASE TELL US IF YOU TOOK THE PHOTO OR, IF NOT, WHO TO CREDIT. DON'T BE SHY ABOUT PICTURE QUALITY; IT'S ALL IN FUN. WE'LL TRY TO CLEAN UP COLOR PROBLEMS AND SHARPEN BLURRY IMAGES. LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED AS A PATRIOT OR A SKWERLHUGGER.
FOR THOSE MAKING COMMENTS:
KEEP THE CURSIN' TO A MINIMUM IF
YOU WANT TO SEE 'EM ONLINE!
WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKIN' FOR NEW PHOTOS...
THE FIRST SKWERL: PROTOSCIURUS SAYS
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