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FROM TIME TO TIME WE RECEIVE SKWERL PHOTOS FROM FOLKS; SOMETIMES WE SNAG ONE WE LIKE FROM A PHOTO DUMP. MOST HAVE LITTLE OR NO COMMENT TO EXPLAIN THE PICTURE. SO WE FIGURE MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US OUT. TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW, THEN TELL US WHAT THE CHITTERBOX IS THINKING OR SAYING USING THE HANDY FORM. WE'LL PUBLISH YOUR RESPONSES EVERY FEW DAYS, AND PUT UP A NEW PIC EVERY WEEK OR SO.
SKWERL SAYS:
I gonna MANGLE YOU for serving me swill like this! I goonna ENJOY IT yes! U humans make me sick with you disrespect!! (leaps onto camera)
Where is the beer I ordered? And these ain't potato chips, are they? Those black seeds are rat poison, right? Dang, you racist people hate black skwerls!
I am so adorable, don't you just want to hug me and feed me?
Foolish man! how dare you give me dirty water and half a basket of nuts! I own you! I demand respect! i demand 5 star service!
Someone put dirt in my water, and someone took half the nuts in this basket and threw them on the ground. I'm not angry, I'm not angry at all--I just want to know who did it. I want to know which slimy, detestable, evil person among you did it. I'm going to count to ten and close my eyes, and when I open them, I want that person in front of me, or else. I'm not angry! Stop telling me to cool down!
I see your water, and raise you these nuts!!!
No stupid! It's not water, it's vodka- the very finest, all the way from Russia... And you just put your smelly feet in it!
Clean water, please! And refill the basket while you're at it, faithful servant
Squirrel (loosing patience): -DEBOUT, LES DAMNÉS DE LA TERRE. DEBOUT, LES FORCATS DE LA FAIM... What?? Don't you even know what DAY it is? I "may not sing"... Now, listen mister, one thing... no two things you don't wanna do. Get between squirrel and delicious nuts and... don't ever, ever try stopping a squirrel from singing at the first of may!!
Please Sir, may I have some pudding?
Squirrel (confused): What do you mean "waterboarding"? What do you mean "nutboarding won't work on me"? What "boys from the agency"? What "conspiracy"?
Do you mind? It's rude to stare when someone's eating. Have you no manners? Where were you dragged up?
Don't touch either of these containers, otherwise you will have a little conversation with my slashing claw paws. You and my paws will have a meaningful chit-chat. Get it?
Welcome to Chippy's first episode of "Squirrel Survivalist"...today, we'll learn how to store nuts, whole grains and water to prepare for government imposed rationing.
What? What do you want?
MINE!!!!!
NOT YOURS!!!!!!
GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What would you like? Water or nuts?
What, no steak?
Mine!
Whaat? I always feel dirty afterwards!... Indulgence requires a bath!! Don't you after a pound of chips and chocolate?
...just slowly back away from the nuts...
Its mine, ALL mine!!! Don't try to take it from me or you will PAY!
What? No cookies???
On today's episode of Semi-Squirrel Made, I'm gonna show you how to turn 70% store bought treats + 30% of your dug up stash into a gourmet dinner that'll impress even the most finicky eaters! Then later, I'll show you how to make an "Acorn-tini" that will have your guests barely able to cling to their branches! And, just wait until you see my bird feeder themed tablescape!
Just one dime can feed this poor little squirrel from war torn and impoverished Angola. Won't you please open your heart and help? Send whatever you feel led to by filling out the form below. All major credit cards accepted...
Back off, get your own sandwich!
Your offerings to the "Nice Skwerl" are appreciated...but couldn't you get some clean water?
i KNOW you think i'm pretty, but i already HAVE a boyfriend!
Oh, I have a CHOICE you say. The water, or the trail mix. Well, the water is dirty and has little bugs in it. The trail mix you obviously picked up right OFF the trail, and it's in one of those dreadful wicker baskets that I DESPISE. Not to mention, this "restaurant" you've taken me to is actually someone's backyard--this whole deal is substandard. You feel bad, you say? Well you SHOULD feel bad, you should feel horrible, it's not right, it's cheap, you have no respect for rats, and one day you will wake up in the black of the night and that thing you feel crawling on your face will be ME and at the moment you realize you did me wrong, at that very moment, my friend, I will shove my furry tail so far down your ever-loving throat you will curse the day you came into this world!
bend down a little closer, toots, and you can hear the earth hum. but, it might hurt a little
Where is UNICEF when we need them?
Good thing they gave me a chaser to go with my intoxicating nuts!
What do you mean "It puts the lotion on its body"???? Are you some sort of freak???!!!?
hey buttlips!!! You took all the wasabi peas!
Chitters felt a momentary pang of guilt for the deception, but hey, the end certainly justified the means...
Don't mess with my food or water...unless you want to die!
This is the worst bed and breakfast I've ever stayed in!!!
I'm thirsty I'm hungry I'll eat then poop!!!
I am so adorable, how can you resist feeding me?
I simply love the trail mix, but, some clean water would be nice.
Hey, I warn ya, you touch either one these and you will draw back a stub.
My name is Bruce Willis, and I will DIE HARD!
Welcome to my world
Mom and dad wanted me to put some time in the Peace Corps after college. So here I am in Sierra Leone, dodging small arms fire and handing out trail mix and water.
Please get me some clean water, and a slice of lemon please. And how about some of those Smokehouse Almonds?
Ok, now that we have the ingredients, I'll show you how to make a nuclear bomb out of common household items!
food basket almost empty... water dish dirty... surrounding area filthy... I'm not really big on incompetence, so get crackin'!!!
He is going to pour the seeds in the bucket
It's MINE!
HHHMMMMM! Choices, water or nuts. I choose nuts!!!!!!!!
Oh crap... not again!!!!
I love pineapplas
please feed me. i want a big make and a milk shake, not seeds and a water dish.
taste test!
PHOTO BY LABELLEPROVINCE. TO SUBMIT A PHOTO, USE THE EMAIL LINK BELOW. HI-RESOLUTION JPEGS ARE BEST - UP TO 500K. PLEASE TELL US IF YOU TOOK THE PHOTO OR, IF NOT, WHO TO CREDIT. DON'T BE SHY ABOUT PICTURE QUALITY; IT'S ALL IN FUN. WE'LL TRY TO CLEAN UP COLOR PROBLEMS AND SHARPEN BLURRY IMAGES. LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED AS A PATRIOT OR A SKWERLHUGGER.
FOR THOSE MAKING COMMENTS:
KEEP THE CURSIN' TO A MINIMUM IF
YOU WANT TO SEE 'EM ONLINE!
LAST FIVE PHOTOS FROM
LUCY
TARZAN
DUSTIN
BLOOR
SEAN AND BETH
WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKIN' FOR NEW PHOTOS...
THE FIRST SKWERL: PROTOSCIURUS SAYS
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