Patriots, super smart scientists do many, many super smart things; things that benefit mankind. However, recognizing the threat of squirrel world domination isn't one of them.
The scientific community is especially remiss in it's understanding of the bushytail horde's evolutionary and historical threat. For example, scientists originally claimed that the first squirrel, Protosciurus, did not evolve until approximately 35 million years ago. Later, the skwerlien lineage was traced back another 20 million years to the ground-dwelling Paramys.
However, in 2006, a discovery in inner Mongolia pushed nutzy origins to the latter half of the Cretaceous period, during the Mesozoic Era, roughly 125 million years ago. Further, this new skwerlball creature, Volaticotherium antiquus (ancient gliding beast), could glide through the canopy like today's flying squirrels.
Patriots, the discovery and subsequent study by the American Museum of Natural History is reviewed below, but as expected, science fails to recognize the significance of finding a slavering, maniacal skwerl in the Cretaceous...
MONGOLIAN SQUIRREL LIVED 125M YEARS AGO
By Roger Highfield - Telegraph.Co.Uk - 14/12/2006
Mammals took to the skies as long ago as the first birds, perhaps even earlier, according to a study of a squirrel-like creature from inner Mongolia.
The discovery of the fossil of the "gliding beast" raises the question about why mammals never got to fly as well as birds, though they were swooping around for 70 million years longer than scientists had thought.
"I don't think we really know why mammals never got to be as good as birds," said Jin Meng, of the American Museum of Natural History, New York, who led the study published today in the journal Nature.
With colleagues he analysed the fossil remains of the small, squirrel-sized mammal that lived about 125 million years ago. The unusual animal had sharp teeth, elongated limbs and tail, and a fur-covered fold of skin membrane that was most likely used for gliding flight.
The mammal was probably nocturnal and dined on insects. It was similar in size to a modern flying squirrel. The small creature probably flirted with flight at the same time as, if not earlier than, when birds exploited the skies.
The team also analysed the evolutionary relationships among major groups of known Mesozoic mammals, which shows that the gliders represent a previously unknown group.
The Mesozoic mammal has been called Volaticotherium antiquus, the "ancient gliding beast".
Dr Meng said: "Establishing a new order probably only happens once, if that, in the lifetime of a lucky paleomammalogist"
The fossil of the gliding mammal, discovered in eastern Mongolia, preserves the animal's skeleton, as well as an impression of most of a large fold of skin membrane that stretched between the animal's fore and hind limbs.
The membrane, known as a patagium, served as an airfoil to support the small animal's weight and generated lift for it to travel horizontally through the air.
The fossil also preserves impressions of the fur that was found on the gliding membrane and on other parts of the body, one of the earliest records of the skin covering that is typical of mammals.
The limbs are elongated, which is typical for living gliding mammals. Longer bones allow for more skeletal and muscular support of a glider's airfoil.
Its vertebrae reveal that the animal had a long, stiff tail that served as a stabilising rudder during gliding flight.
The lengths of the animal's skull and skeleton suggest that V. antiquus weighed around three ounces, so it had a relatively light load in flight.
Being lightweight and possessing a relatively large airfoil, V. antiquus was likely an agile glider, but perhaps not agile enough to chase insects as prey through the air.
Unlike living mammal gliders that are mostly herbivorous, the unique, highly specialised sharp teeth of V. antiquus provide evidence that this mammal was an insectivore, like most known Mesozoic mammals.
Other features of the animal's limb and finger and toe bones indicate it was a climber, which allowed it to forage on trees and obtain height for gliding, as in the case of flying squirrels.
Patriots, the above is all well and good, but isn't it obvious that the brainiac scientists have missed the most vital point in their discovery: that the rise of V. antiquus corresponds with the sudden decline and disappearance of the dinosaurs.
That's right, no longer can the scientific community hide the facts behind their absurd theory that a big rock fell out of the sky and killed all the dinosaurs. How could that happen anyway? By bouncing all around and sqwashing each dino individually? We think not. The bushytail horde did it and scientists know it.
But why would science keep the truth from us? Follow the money. Most scientific research having to do with drooling nutcrunchers is funded by... the government. The same government that funds such skwerlien cabals as the National Forest Service, the Bureau of Land Management, and other fronts for the Squirrel Enforcement Army.
However, the V. antiquus study did reach one relevant conclusion: the ancient gliding beast was carniverous. So is it any stretch of the imagination to envision swarms of dive bombing skwerliens taking out the dinosaurs as part of their quest for squirrel world domination? Again, we think not (click dinos for comment).
And don't believe those minions of skwerl-o-fascism, pathetic skwerlhuggers, when they try to tell you that today's skwerls are humble, little, non-threatening vegetarians. As we've demonstrated with objective evidence many times before, they are not.
As proof, we invite you to take a look at the following videos: one of flying squirrels feasting on a dead deer; the other of a predatory fox squirrel eating a harmless little bird; and note that the fox skwerl clip was shot at an unnamed military facility somewhere in Texas; then consider the consquences for all humanity if the slavering nutcrunchers succeed with their plan of conquest...
CARNIVEROUS FLYING SKWERLS (L); PREDATORY FOX SKWERL (R)
See the shocking truth for yourself - click screenshots to play - videos in windows media
ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Were you appalled by these carniverous skwerls? Are you prepared to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS
MORE SCIENCE IN ACTION
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CHEW ON THIS
AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY
BBC'S PREHISTORIC LIFE SERIES
WIKIPEDIA'S GEOLOGIC TIMELINE
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA MUSEUM OF PLAEONTOLOGY
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