For all forest creatures are mine already... Psalms 50:10-11
| scary squirrel world | SKWERLHUGGERY EXPOSED! |
As most Patriots know, the basic tenent of Orthodox Skwerlhggery is that someday a "Nice Squirrel" will come. Its mission: to set everything right. But right for whom?
Our research into this cultist phenomena has consistently uncovered and exposed its true purpose: the realization of squirrel world domination (see links below).
Skwerlhuggery is bad enough when distributed in written form or disguised as a cultural exhibit in a museum. But who reads anymore and what's a "museum?"
However, it's most blatant form is broadcast to the innocent via the television, and the betrayal is 10 fold when it's disguised as a Christian childrens' show...
Such is the case of independently produced, The DJ Club.
In it, three characters hold clandestine meetings supposedly so they can discuss world events and spiritual growth.
There's Discovery Jones, a man who wanders the earth communicating with animals. It's not clear where he gets the funding for these adventures as he has no visible means of support.
Then there's Dot Com, a computer who delivers messages from beyond. It appears that Dot Com's knowledge is independent of any database, or even a connection to the internet. It may be that he is the digital equivalent of the Holy Ghost.
Last and worse of all, there's Rusty the Squirrel. Skwerl Rusty has an unnatural interest in Christianity, especially with God's power. In a recent episode, Discovery Jones remarks on Rusty's behavior, to which the skwerlball states that he is trying to become "Christ-like".
Ok, it doesn't take a Thomas Aquinas to see what's going on here. In fact, leaving aside some questionable theology (i.e. do animals even have souls), it's clear that Skwerl Rusty has a messianic complex.
But what does this mean to the struggle against squirrel world domination? Is Rusty acting alone? Does he really believe that he can transcend into a divine spirit? Is his goal to become the Nice Squirrel? Or does he see himself as part of a Trinity with the Nice Squirrel and some other skwerlien demon?
These are questions for which we have no answers, yet (click photo for Rusty's hideous chitter). Therefore, we solicit your opinion...
TYPE IN YOUR IDEAS; THEN CLICK ONCE;
READER COMMENTS
Skwerl Rusty just wants some lovin'. He doesn't know how to ask for it so he's concocting some sort of child pornogrphy TV show to lure unsuspecting youths into his furry grasps. My message is this: Children of the world beware, for an apocalypse of fur and acorn breath is upon us. Parents lock up your daughters, for an attempt at tainting their young souls is evident. Everyone beware of the Skwerl in this pernisious world we live in. BEWARE OF RUSTY!!!
i hope rusty chokes on a holy cracker!
RUSTY IS GOING TO BLOW UP THE WHITEHOUSE
this is complete bull, you sad little man i know very nice squirrel toys and they are not members of the ocult they go to church every sunday, and they give me free nuts.
I don't know what his plan is, but maybe I could crucify him and we'll see how he measures up to Jesus. Where's your Messiah now, Rusty??!!
Dump his rusty nuts
To convince you to get 23 squirrel tattoos
His plan is to subject all of us "non-skwerlhuggers" to a lot of nonsensical gobbledygook concerning the origin of our morality. Obviously, he will fail because the valiant avengers of truth will meticulously root out all propoganda issued by those dreaded chitterboxes until the real anwsers are unveiled. And where does this ratty vermon get the gumption to try to persue interest in a greater being? Sadly nobody shall ever discover why. But in the meantime we must fight to slay the numbering number of skwerls before it is to late and they have reached our young. It is granted from Darwin that we must eradicate their existence.
Rusty's mission to take advantage of the Chrisitians trying to indoctrinate children and get people to believe that squirrel world domination is part of God's plan.
Rusty is a pawn, and represents another hideous example of the dangers of organized religion. Squirrels know no god. Squirrels are smart enough to realize that no earthly intelligence has the capacity to understand the Creator, and they waste no time gathering together in some communion of "souls" - they are wise enough to limit their gathering to acorns! This whole thing is another effort by the so-called Christian right to brain wash the minds of children, using as bait the adorable image of a red squirrel. Horrible, I tell you. Just horrible, and devious beyond even Reynolds' Joe Camel thing. I think I'm gonna puke. And boy, am I glad I'm childless. (Unless, of course, I'm gonna puke 'cause I'm suffering from morning sickness, God forbid!!!)
 CLICK TO HEAR TUFTY SING Everyone Wants To Go To Heaven (but nobody wants to die) real audio g2 windows media original by the Cox Family and Alison Krause |
