Are there skwerls in heaven? We say no. But many skwerlhuggers choose to believe there are. What motivates these blasphemers to spout such heresy is beyond us. Some will go to great extremes to press their point...

To all you squirrel haters,

I'm sick of hearing how you think squirrels are evil and out to take over the world. Why don't you just get a grip. Squirrels are gentle, harmless creatures and if any living thing deserves to go to heaven, it's squirrels. And I have proof they do. Here is a sequence of photos i took the other day when I happened upon a freshly dead squirrel. I animated the series to show what happens when a squirrel dies.

From the looks of it, the squirrel died in a fall. You can see an indentation on it's side. You can also clearly see that the squirrel's soul is rising up out of its body and ascending into heaven!

Now there can be no doubt that squirrels do go to heaven!!!

The Ascension - submitted by Skwerlhugger Bailey

Patriots, are we really supposed to believe this folderol? That skwerl could have just as easily have been dispatched by a zealous Patriot with a whacking stick. As for the so-called Ascension, the photos have obviously been manipulated. By rotating your monitor 180 degrees, you can distinctly see that the nutzy's soul is descending into Perdition's Pit of Flaming Fire.

Good try, Skwerlhugger Bailey.