NEW RECIPESFood-related Sound #174 Food-related Sound #175 Food-related Sound #176 Tree Hugger Marinade - anonymous 1 o dem liberal tree huggers,or peta doodes 1 pair of dem nature freindly hiking shoes 1 golf club 1 skwerl Furst,put on dem nature freindly shoes. sekund ,start stomping the tree hugger or peta guy to death. thurd, when the liberal or wudever is almost dead,start whakking wit tha gulf club. forth, eat teh tree hugger or semi human liberal. fith, take healthy dump,wip with skwerl serve skwerl at next commoonity dinner as a tofoo for them liberal fairies! Back to School Squirrel - anonymous Step One: Drive an old scool bus with no brakes on a squirrel infested road. Step Two: Put carcass in a frying pan and season whith salt anf pepper. Natural Skwerly - by Pepurr Furst u gots to katch tha lil bugger. Whut I do is take off all my close and greaze my body down with possum fat. Tha possum fat makes tha skwerl think you is a possum. Thay is buddies you know. It is little kwnon but they have jambories every sunday nite when god fearing fokes are at church. Whut were we tulken about? Oh yea! Next you go out in tha woods and scamper around on all fours. Start digging in tha ground and getting them worms. Eat them up like you loves it. Them skwerls will thank you done went loco or that you is a possum. Skwerls dont take no mind to crazy people or possums though, so when they quit looking at you start getting closer to them. Move on in slowly. Then when they are in arms reach, grab one and bite off its head. Iffen you aint got no teeth, just snap its neck. All that possum fat will be pretty sticky by now so you can store your skwerls by sticken them to your back. After a gud day at kachen em, you shuld have 10 or 11 of em stuck to your back. Iffen you dont, then you better just stick to eaten worms. They tasty too. When you get home, dont run to the hoze to walsh off. Theys advantages to leafing that fat on. Firstly it will keep tha skeeders offen ya. Secondly it will keep that loud mouth good fur nuthen nit picken sorry excuse for a wife offen yas. And yous don have to worry bout her tryen to get you skwerls. I aint going to tell yous how to skin a skwerl. I think by now yous already no how. Iffen ya dont, you dont need ta be hunting them. Where did ya grow up? In tha city? Yo dadddy dint tech ya nuthing? Any ways, Take out a skillet and scrape some of that possum fat offen yo body and throw it in. Chomp up yo skwerls with yo favorite nife. Iffen yo nife is dull use an axe. Also iffen yo nife is dull shame on you. Go out n tha yard and get some dandlion greens and bring them back n tha house. Cut up some cerrots and onyons and throw it all in yo skillet wit yo skwerl meet. Cook en up til thays all brownish looken. 11 or 12 skwerls should feed 15 fokes. But you is goen to eat them up yo self. Skrew them. Theys can get theys own skwerls. FAMILY PICNIC FUN ACTIVITIES Squirrel Mentos-PEPSI-bomb 1 squirrel 4 2L Diet Pepsi 1 roll mentos 1 roll duct tape Tape four Diet Pepsi 2L bottles around squirrel (live or dead), then open each bottle. Place three mentos in each bottle simultaneously and watch! Easy 'Alien' Simulation take one live squirrel, then shove it down your throat and wait till it rips its way out of your stomach, and you're done! Vajeta... Vejitari... Veggietear... Skwerl fo' Them as Eet know Mheet - by anonymous putt sum nuts owt in the gardin fo' th' skwerls tek sum caruts, cabige, pees, ternips, pertaters, an' sum a' them brownee greenee things (lent hills i think they cawled) cut 'em up (knot th' lent hills) thro 'em in uh pot boyl 'em in sum wharta eet 'em Squirrel Puree - anonymous (great for ol' timers with no teeth) Take a blender and a squirrel Put squirrel in blend Switch blender on Blend until smoth Serve and enjoy <simple Skwerl> - anonymous Why dont ya shoot, kill the suckers , throw them in a kettle with onions potatoes chikin spice water etc cook till tender or what eve. Preskined Skwerl-Grab - anonymous grab skwerl stik hed in berel of 12ga. pull triger (remember to put shell in) remov skeen off barrel and chew while finding the rest of skwerl pick the good stuff out feed rest to famly. Angry Skwerlhugger Letter of the Week Leave the poor animals alone... anyone eating squirrels can not be educated enough to understand that killing animals in your backyard dosen't make you a hunter. Your an A-hole that dosen't have enough $$$ to go buy your own food. Get yourself a life and leave the poor defensless animals alone.. I guarantee you people are to cowardly to pick on something that will fight you back.. if I see anyone shooting a squirrel I will stick the gun sideways up there ARSE... Squirrel Meat Balls In Pamazzan Sauce - by Laith Hamid of Cardiff using a grey squirrel and a red squirrel, cut throats and drain blood for 3 hours each! skin the vermin, gut it and use a mincer to mince them,add three pinches of salt and a shake of pepper. roll into balls then fry 6 mins in frying pan! melt blue and pamazzan cheese with m ilk and butter when hot pour over meatballs and serve. enjoy Pea-Poppers in a Blanket- Anonymuss Go Git sevunteen baby skwerls...shuut em in day haids to not mess up no meat! Skint em..salt dem hydes and make a jacket whilst younz is waitin' fo the Pea-Popping delite to finnish cukin. Put eech baby skwerl in a duck press(ifn you aint got no duck press den run dem over wid your John Deere trackter tahr) and smash em down gud so theyuns will fit in a Pillsbury cressunt roll fum yor dairy case. Roll up skwerl in aforementioned triangle of dough along wid 6 green peas and sum mushrum sup- dehaided of course-skwerls, not mucshrum sup. Bile dem haids and suck dem brains whilst you makin'd at frock coate -as an appe-tizer horse douvr. Put skwerl wraps in microwave- cuk 27 secunts eech, and et em all up wid a soda pop wid foam on top to wash em down! Bon-appertite! Cavorie Skwerl - anonymous 1 sqwerl 1 pounds of Cavorie 1 can of bake beans first y'll gon' need some sqwerl, and y'll gon' have need a shovel four this. all righty then, y'll gon' need to drive 'round in your pick up truck and find a sqwerl on road. then y'll put it on a big-o-plate an' then y'll gota mix toghter the cavoir an' can of baked beans. then y'll pour that mix all on top of the sqwerl, ya here? then y'll eat that.(the sun would of baked that sqwerl up like pizza on christmaz day, ya heard?) i'd like to thank Joe Mama for this. Rondo's 20 Dollar Squirrel - by Rondo Spectacular recipe for the most delicious and moist barbacued skwerl you will ever have. Ingredients: One large 4 - 8 lb. skwerl 3 tablespoons of each of the following items for a rub: -garlic powder -dill -oregano -skwerl seasoning (or any other seasoning you like) one stick of fresh rosemary enough olive oil to make a paste with the above items, except the skwerl, of course! 1 cup of fresh whole mushrooms One can of REALLY good beer, or if the beer you like only comes in bottles, then one can of some other beer and one bottle of the good stuff. Directions:
Last, send Rondo $20 for this recipe. Roasted Tweaker Squirrel - anonymous catch tweaker squirll, then knock it out, wait a couple days for the body to decay, then once magets start to form in the scalp take it and beat it with a muddy boot, finaly cook it on an open trash fire(with the fur and magets, it gives the squirell flavor.) and yum!!!your dead tasty squirell.:) Come to Jesus Organic Squirrel - anonymous Shoot the squirrel that's been climbing on your bird feeder. Feel slightly bad. Skin and remove innards. Snap off squirrel hands-n-feet and keep them for key chains, good luck charms, or run them down the disposal. Keep disposal running... eventually they go down. Clean, and soak squirrel in 6 dollar a gallon organic milk overnight. Rinse, quarter, flash fry with shallots and garlic. Season with rosemary and salt place in oven at 350 for 35 minutes. Eat. Feel connected to the cycle of life. "Eat more squirrel." TS Elliot Tip of the Day: If yawl can't find the critters Rattle Snake will do. Watch out when you eat the head.Remember they are live. Cousin Denny did die from the critters. He wasa eating all the Church'es Snakes that was for a Sat da nite prayer Meating. ~from anonymous Crispy Fried Squirrel - anonymous first completely skin and clean squirrel so that theres no hair on the meat. thenn season or bread to tast i recomend texas seasoning. then deep fry them suckers till there brown and crispy Woodys UK BBQ Squirrel - by Woody First find your squirrels - local park/graveyard is good. Tree your squirrel and load your gatty. Strip the squirrel meat off and, near the end of your BBQ when the coals are just nice, drop the meat into a foil take-away container with cider, favorite herbs, chilli, lime and golden syrup - look you know what you like, so work out the quantities yourself! - and let it cook slowly. (Red wine, Worcester sauce and blackberries are good too!) Don't forget to keep the tails for the dogs to play with! Outraged skwerlhugger letter of the day: i think this site is so disgusting and all u grody ole hicks should die! ~anonymous Tree Rat and Peach Snops Flavored Board - anonymous bark your tree rat with .38 cal. muzzle loader. skin and dress as you would rabbet,nail to black walnut plank soak in peach snops,cook in oven till tender, through rat away eat board. Chewy-Crunchy Skwerl - anonymous bury yer ded tree rat in tu graound fer a ceple munths. works best in texus. dig up an eat. nice n chewy, but thu bones are kinder crunchy. Balloon Squirrel - anonymous First you get the squirrel, shoot it with water balloons, so it gets wet, but in one water balloon put a bullet so it dies at the same time. Put the squirrel in a deep fat fryer that you bought from the McDoanlds food chain comapany, then fry iy. Put it on a "squirrel skewer", then eat it. Char Broiled Skwerl - anonymous Ingredients: Skwerl First, catch about 7 meddling chitterboxes, shave them till them varmints are hairless, then, take yer biggest hacksaw and cut em up into smallish cubes, next take yer skwerls and toss em in a large bonfire, let them suckers burn for a few minutes. You can serve em up with a beer sauce. Note: If you want to tenderize them mongrels, shoot em with yer pistol. Squirrel Pie (Feeds 4) - Simon Tagg Shoot 3 squirrels and gut them while they are warm (they can be hung for a couple of days if you can’t get 3 at once). Skinning: This is quite tricky as the fur is thick. I find it best to start off separating the skin with a knife, then get your fingers between the skin and the meat and work your way round the saddle. Once you have done this, push up and separate past the shoulders and down the forelegs (it’s worth the effort on a big squirrel). Remove the head and paws, grasp the skin firmly and pull back over the rear (this is a test of strength) if you are lucky you will get the tail meat out clean as well. Jointing: Take off the legs at the shoulder and the hips leaving the saddles (the meat is very good down the spine but a bit fatty around the ribs). Marinade: Make a nice marinade from olive oil, garlic, herbs (rosemary is nice), salt and pepper. I find a swish of port adds to the flavour. Place in a bowl and leave overnight. Cooking: Flash fry and seal the joints in their own marinade in a large pan. Add water, stock, wine/port and a selection of seasonal vegetables to taste and leave to simmer until the vegetables are done (add some cornflour or mashed potato to thicken if needed). While the meat is simmering roll, cut and shape a piece of puff pastry to cover the dish. Place this in the oven to make the pie crust. When the vegetables and meat are done cover with the crust and serve. For those that are wondering – squirrel meat is delicious, much like the chicken ‘oyster’ or partridge. Tip of the Day: YOU SHOULD NOT EAT SUUIRRELS UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST FROST. OTHER WISE YOU WILL GT PARASITES. ~Anonymous Italion fry skerl - anonymous Hickory Stick BBQ - anonymous shoot em skwerl, knock the inners out on a stump, skin er, and wash er off in the crek. Cut a stick of hickory about two feet long and jab it from the nek to tail and prop er up over the fire. be shore to rotate often if fur is hot. Forklift Manifold Method - anonymous Puncture grain bag with forklift blade. Reverse, wait for skwerls to arrive. Accelerate forward as fast as possible with lift blades 2" from ground. Puncture Skwerls. Remove skewered skwerls from blades. Remove skwerl insides and fur (easier said than done with forklift blades, suggest using box knife). Lift hood of forklift and place skwerls on exhaust manifold. Lower hood and unload one 28foot trailer or half a 48 foot van. After all that unloading you will be hungry, lucky for you your skwerl will be hot and ready to serve. (works best on docks with large infestations) Skwerl-n-Liver Whatever - anonymous 2 squirrells 3 tsp. of butter 3 liver chops 7 spoons of sugar 1 batch of potatoes 5 packets of ketchup You kin figger out the res! Shake 'n Bake Squirrel - anonymous Bone in Squirrel pieces 1 box of Shake 'n Bake Follow directions on box and serve with baked beans and garlic toast. Yum! Angry Reader letters of note: You don't wan't to shoot them, 'less you like spittin' pellets. First you have to get them to come close so you don't have to spit pellets when you're eating. Get a nut, and hold it out offer them your hand. If they give you a good bite, take off a finger or something, it's called pay back. Or, I hope the next person who shoots one and eats it, chokes on it. How's that? ~anonymous I have never seen anythng so untterly disgusting as this 'Cookin' Up Skwerl' section. Is this serious? Would people actually follow these recipes? The very idea of kkilling and eating these beautiful litle animals is just sickening. ~Ilah Monts Skwerl Avec Toothpaste - anonymous 1 skwerl (live if possible) 1 bottle orange soda 3 tablespoons peanut butter 1 coconut (whole) 1lb noodles (any)(uncooked) toothpaste as garnish TT cinnamon, lifesavers, pepperoni, and anchovies add all ingredients together in stock pot, bring to boil and keep boiling... serve in cardboard boxes and eat on the bathroom floor along with the people who live in your neighbors basement. enjoy!! Skwerl Blast - anonymous Get yer biggast goon blast em little varments in them heads wit a big goon.(gather peeces of dem rodents and put in small mesh bag to carrie back to yer trayler and or tant). Then get the gasolin powerd grinder out o yer bomb sucure basment (The big griner).run threw in to completely liquified and or small bubles o blood. then shoot again to make sure dead.wipe blood from face with flanel shirt only.serve chilled with sides of beer,beer,beer and more beer but most of all shoot again to make sure dead.wipe blood of jon dear hat enjoy!!! w8 is that how u spell ! ? Skwerl Mac and Cheese - -Bridgette G. a.k.a. skwerl hater 1 cup water 2 pds of chedder cheese 1 huge flippen skwerl directions: shave skwerl over a bowl until totally bald. then chop skwerl until you see brain. Shred cheese over skwerl, dump the water in, put into microwave for 1 min. PRESTO! skwerl mac and cheese. Squirrel Nuggets by Dexter This one's easy: catch as many of the little buggers as you can and then feed them into a running gas turbine with a penumatic cannon aka chicken gun. If these items are not avilabe a food processor with chopping blade and a standard oven heated to 375 will suffice but not be as fun and quick. Serve with honey mustard and wasabi sauce. Skwerl Flamebe' - anonymous Get one CO2 laser of 100 watts or more watts and go to squirrel infested tree. Aim and open fire skwerl will fall from tree in flames then contune buring with laser untill done to taste. If a portable laser is not avilible down skwerl with pellet gun .22 etc and use large fernsel lens ,fire works, lighter fluid etc to cook. serve with smores and a side of grits. Ed. note: a bit of criticism from a sophisticate... Firstly this is again one of the states that almost as a whole supports the war on what they call "terrorists" because of they're supposed cave man like instincts and would probably think eating insects and some of the foods they eat in for example, iraq, and Afghanistan rather barbaric and more proof of how "viciously" natured they are as a whole. The difference with situations in other countries and this b/s is that there isn't a Vons or convenience store who'll sell them meat 4 blocks away as this statement makes a pot of thumbing at. But I guess anything that helps massage the mind frame of the modern redneck, far be it for me to interject some sense into this hootenanny. Je souhaite faire cuire un écureuil rouge. Avez-vous des recettes appropriées? Mais oui, messieurs et mesdames: Ecureuil rouge a la Toulousenne - anonymous First take your squirrel - eet must be a tender and docilee European red squirrel - so. Ze salle ecureuil Americaine (ze grey one) is tough and unilateraliste, which leave un flaveure degoutant in ze mouth of French people. It is fit only for McDo. Make first - 'ow you say? - ze stock. Onions, carrottes, un soupcon d'ail - but you know zis, n'est ce pas? Now to kill ze petite amuse-bouche. Grasp firmly by ze - aaaaaagggghhhhhh! - it has bit me, ze sacre animale - not to bite me again, M l'Equireuil, please, I beg you, I have ze femme and three petites, I surrender, I surrender, do you not see my white flag? It is ron away, merci, le Bon Dieu. Ah, mon coeur. So to eat now, I must go to McDonalds. Red Ryder Hash ~ Redneckninja 1 Red Ryder BB gun 10 steel bbs good aim 5 starlings 2 squirrels 1 onion 1/2 cup butter 3 large tomatos 1 potato 1/2 cup shitake mushrooms 3 tbs paprika Shoot the little muthers in the head. This is easier with the starlings than with the squirrels. For the squirrels you have to get real close, preferably while they's still on the ground. You might have to get up on the roof if they're in the tree. Skin and gut them before throwin' em in the fryin pan with the veggies and fungus. Fry until all the butter has melted and enjoy! Blowed Clean Up Skwerl - anonymous items needed: 1 trainquilizer gun with plenty of ammo 2-3 m-80's w/5 sec. fuse binoculars ingredients: skwerls 3 large taters barbeque sauce fried toad cow brains seasoned salt brown sugar how to prepare:go out to them there woods n find you a skwerl using binoculars, shoot w/trainqulizer gun (preferably in head)stick an m-80 in his butt. run. pick remains off of ground.pour in a pot and set on high. cook fer 40-50 minutes or until black.put in a microwavable bowl n stir 'er up with the taters, bbq sauce, fried toad(found in any good ol' kuntri store)now put in fer 10 minutes.add seasoned salt and brown sugar.add cow brains if wanted. serve with fatback. Easy Bake Skwerl - anonymous First, you get a live squirrel. You chop it in to thirds and then you bake him to 425 degrees and let it cool and enjoy. You can use the fir to make a coat. Boiled Squirrel Nose - anonymous Take a skwerl haid and burn off alls the hare offen hit. Bile the haid. At tew hours, flick the nose offen the haid and whack in haf. Salt and flop on a piece of tosted Wonner Bread. (mostly folks whack a moose to dew this dish, but hain't no moosy left rounds here). Skwerl wid Bird Iggs - anonymous New te git a gud skwerl, mike a trape o 2 punds o PB N J and set it ut side! new git yer rifle n shut tha sumbitch befor it kin it up! once ya gots it, kut its hed upon and suk tha juices out of da cranium. then, munt tha head(N tail if ya please) in a plak fer yer hih fa lutin wal! then, skin tha wiper N pit tha skin inta the frying pan on medium wit: 2 punds o budda 2 mo punds o budda 6 oz o ulive oil(the oldest boddle ya kin find!) 2 Ra bird iggs( not khiken!) 2 wild ra berds! no but tha rest of tha skwerl onto a oven pan. put some sisonins on da skwerl and pit it un an ovin at 360 fer 30 minutes. na check on tha skwerl skin. ya wanna wat til itz al dark and smoky bfor iten et! once bof r dun, serv with a nice rid whine. bon appetite! Skwirlel-Ka-Bobs - anonymous 1 long metal pole 5 skwerls stick the pole up the butts of the skwerl and split it through heads cook untill done on a grill Skwirl and Sallymander Sewp - Billy Bob Kornkobb INGREEDYANTS: - 2 runned-down skwirls (easly fownd on rodes evrywhare; the longr they be layin thar, the tendrer thay'll be) - 1 cup of sallymanders (iffen yew donut like the skin, then skinnem) - Hole buncha of vejjies - Mushrewms or other fungusses - Water fer sewp 1. Pik maggits off of skwrils, set a-side for munchn latr. 2. Put skwirl in kettel with water and cook till it donut flote no moor 3. Remoov hares flotin on top, sprinkel with suger an giv to yer kids, tellem its kotten kandy. 4. Mush sallymanders in boll, put drippns in sewp, save watts left fer step 7. 5. Add all the other stuf. 6. Cook sum moor. 7. Add sallymanders leftovrs. 8. Cook sum moor. 9. Mmm, mmm! Simple Italian Skwerl - anonymous soak in italian dressing over night and then flour the meat then mix it with rice, beans, and corn. Swirl of Skwerl - anonymous find a skwerl out eer in em woods getcha shotgun n blow it to smitheries.pick up remains.buy ice cream (vanilla werks best)toss in remains with ice cream.add 1/4 ib. of salt. 4 1/2 papayas. n throw it in that there freezer. eat fer desert (gos well with pork n beans n fatback) Skwarl Smoothie - Karen Get u some skwarls. Just kinda ah-ball'm tuh figger how many will fit in yer blender. Or, keep puttin'em in till yer blender is full. Make sure all thar lil' hands'n feet are in afore puttin' the lid on. Shore, yer gone blenderaz'em, but ya don't need tuh put 'em thru any unnessisuree pain. They's jist no reason in the warld tuh be inhumane. Use the 'likwifah' setting and turn blinder on. When its all uh smooth pankish brown kuller wif no lil' pieces floatin' around inny more, tarn off blinder and chill. Pore into tall glasses, add a sprig'o mint and enjoy! Slow Baked Mastadon Skwerl - Mr. Hammeroni For this one, you will need a VERY large skwerl. At least two or three hundred pounds or so. Get in your time machine. Set the little digital thingy for six million years BC. Trap one bushy-tail sabertooth- muscle bound mastadon skwerl. Avoid getting eaten by the skwerl. Bring the skwerl back to the good old twenty-first century, or maybe it will bring you.. Dig a fifteen-foot hole. Add in order: - Two cords of wood - Five gallons of kerosene. - Light the wood. - Partially cover the fire with ten or twenty large rocks, to absorb the heat and slowly cook the monster. - Soak the beast in five gallons of barbecue sauce, one cup of cayenne pepper, and a half a pound of salt. Salt is optional. Wrap in ten layers of banana leaves. - Place prepared skwerl on the now hot rocks, and cover the hole with as many other large rocks as you can find. - Dig it up in about a week, it should be nice and tender.. Rimfires Skwerl - Anonymous First shoot skwerl in head with 0.22 or 0.177 and see if you can take its head off as a bonus. Now skin yer skwerl and pull innards out and feed to neighbours cat to poison im. Cut nob off and down belows, feed to un-neighbourly dogs for a laugh. Keep tail to wave at vegetarians to annoy them. Chop skwerl and fry in pan with cinammon, corriander, garlick, olive oil and pinch of salt. Serve on mashed spuds with a good vintage claret and reflect on your sucessful huntin whilst finger lickin. Circus Excitement - yourmomma #1 find old cotton candy machine. #2 put in live skwerl. #3 serve with clown cakes, tight- rope toffees, baked balancers, and fire-swallower fancies. #4 last, add circus tents, elephants and stands for authentic effect. Swerl Sushi - anonymous Ingredients: 1 Skwerl (Dead or Alive) Pick up Skwerl and eat it. Dumplin Squirrel with the Bar BQ Sauces and such! - ~Lokivia from V.C SO CALI Needed: A buncha squirrels. 18cups o walfrus fats 1cups o water 1 bottle of BarBQ Sauce 1 gun 13 bullets 1 pot 1 stove Good Aim Lotsas vermin in yur yard. Optional: Rice, Beans, Rats, or taters! Step 1: Grab yur mamma's trusty buckshot and run outside, load bullets, and shoot yerself up some good ol squirrels. Step 2: Kill all twitching squirrels with a brick to the head. Step 3: Skin them vermin with a potatoe peeler. Step 4: Chop thems heads off with a butcher knife. Step 5: Throws thems into the pot, add 18 cups of walrus fat deluded with 1 cup of water. Step 6: Set on boil, let boil for 30min. Step 7: Pull out and throw onto plates, pour over some BarBQ sauce over the top, chop up and serve with beans, potatoes, rice, or rat nibblets! Serves 5 Enjoy! Skwerl dip - anonymous Get jer selves a peck a skerls. I kin find 'em this time a year makin nests in my root celler. Get jer selves down to the local Walmart and pick yer self up a five gallon can of that spanch cheese. Ya know, the orange cheese they put on yer hot dogs on the fourth a july. You take yer hole skwerl now mind ya and yer grinder up real good with yer rifle butt like you was makin butter in January. Pick up all yer little bits a skwerl and yer just mix 'er inta the pot o spanch cheese. Hell, you can put pert near ta anything inta that cheese and it's come out tastin just like gin to a boozer. Anyway that's all. Skwerl for the Masses - Patriot Ham Get in your time machine, set the little dial to 5 million years BC. Find a muscle-bound sabertooth skwerl. Avoid getting eaten by skwerl. Shoot, trap or otherwise catch the varmint. Bring it back to the twenty first century. How to prepare: Dig large pit, a backhoe would make the task much easier. Line pit with volcanic rocks, five or so cords of wood, ten gallons of barbecue fire starter. Start fire. Let petroleum starter burn off. Lightly cover fire with another layer of rocks. While things are warming up, it is time to prepare the skwerl! Cover skwerl with fifteen gallons of chef Anton's finest barbecue sauce and a pound of salt. Bundle skwerl in several layers of banana leaves. Lower skwerl in pit! Cover skwerl with ordinary large rocks. Twenty four hours later, simply dig the skwerl up! Feeds at least one hundred hungry guests. Suitable for garden parties, large weddings, luaus, and other similar large gatherings. Tart-N-Tasty Squirrel - copied from Mike West's Skwerl page Ingredients: 3 pounds squirrel, pieced 1/4 cup olive oil 1/2 teaspoon crushed black pepper 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon sugar 1/4 teaspoon paprika 1/4 teaspoon prepared mustard 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon celery salt 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder Season squirrel with salt and pepper. Heat olive oil and brown squirrel. Remove squirrel, drain skillet. In a mixing bowl combine all remaining ingredients, mix well. Place squirrel back in skillet, add mixture, stir to mix. Cover and simmer for about 45 minutes, serve. Serve with mashed potatoes or french fries, fresh salad, and hot bisquits. Skwerly Dawg Treets - anonymous get u shotgun , blast 5 of them skally wags, pull off thier little skins, jerk out them there guts. wash em, stick em in a fried pan, make um fried, get em out. order big pizza with eveything on that son of a gun buddy, eat pizza feed them there skally wags to you doog. World Salvation Skwerl - anonymous Catch as many squirrels as possible... how you do this. peanut butter in a microwave. wen they enter the microwave start to microwave the squirrel. put it on for at least 7 minutes 30 seconds. by this time the squirrle should have no fur and his skin should be bubbling. this is only the warning. if you put it on for another minute or so you can blow it up and you got instant chinese food as well as saveing the world. WV_Hunter's Terriaki Squirrel (YUM-YUM) - anonymous Ingredients: 2 Squirrels 1 Bottle Terriaki glaze Katsup Applesauce Molasses Horseraddish Minute Rice Skin and quarter squirrels. Put them in salted water and boil them. Reeduce heat and let simmer for 45 minutes. Remove meat from bone. Cut up into small sections. Mix all other ingredients together, glaze and bake in oven for 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve over rice. Yum Yum Skwerl - anonymous Need: 1 med. onion 42 large tomatos 2 quarts chunky monkey ice cream Auntie Evalyn's corset 1 large SUV large open space lots of skwerls 7 or eight bottle of vodka Antie Evalyn 1. Take skwerls, let loose in 'large open space'. 2. Feed Antie Evalyn the vodka, place in SUV. Let loose in same open space as skwerls. 3. Scrape skwerls off tires. 4. Throw all the stff in a big bowl. 5. Cook for a while in an oven. 6. Serve for dinner. 7. Blame Auntie Evalyn. Note: If she's sober by then, contine adding vodka... and maybe add some to the food too... everything tastes better with vodka. Squirrel Soup - anonymous 1 ea Small Squirrel 2 l Water 1 t Salt 1 ea Tin corn* Any other vegies desired 1 pn Celery leaves 1 pn Parsley Flour or gravox* to thicken Fried bread,1 slice per serv Skin and clean Squirrel, then quarter the animal. (Video tape this please. I have no idea how to do it. Also "first you have to catch a Squirrel", but then that's another story.) Place it in a large pot or camp oven along with water and salt. Cover and simmer gently for 3 hours. Add vegetables and simmer for another 1 1/2 hours (Still tough. Even the vegies are resisting being associated with this.) Strain soup through a large holed colander when meat has left bone and remove bones, especially small ones. Return soup to the pot and add parsley and celery leaves. Thicken with a little flour or gravox. Cut fried bread into 1 inch squares and serve soup over toast, boiling hot. WV_Hunter's Terriaki Squirrel Ingredients: 2 Squirrels 1 Bottle Terriaki glaze Katsup Applesauce Molasses Horseraddish Minute Rice Skin and quarter squirrels. Put them in salted water and boil them. Reeduce heat and let simmer for 45 minutes. Remove meat from bone. Cut up into small sections. Mix all other ingredients together, glaze and bake in oven for 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve over rice. Bald Knob Squirl Brains over Ramps w' Chicken Gizzrds fer Two - Compliments of "Wrong-Turn" Gene Ingredients 1 peck freshly picked ramps 10-12 Large Squirl heads 2 dozen chicken gizzrds 1 head garlik 1/4 lb fat back 1 Tbls. cracked black pepper. 2 tbls. cayenne pepper. salt to taste Put the heads from the squirls in a bag and put in freezer. After you got enuf frozen heads proceed as follows: 1. Use nutcracker on the heads to get the brains out in a bowl. Pitch whats left. 2. Cut fat back into small bits and heat in 2 gal pot with spices. 3. Clean and rinse ramps and cook down in the hot kettle with spicy fatback. 4. Put cooked ramps in a bowl. Take the kettle with the fatback off the fire for a while. 5. If the brains are still frozen use a hammer to break em into small chunks. Do this in a towel like crushin ice so bits don't scatter too far. Chop up gizzards and mix with the brains. 6. Peel garlic, chop into chunks, put in the kettle and put it back on the fire. 7. When the garlic starts to turn, add the brains n gizzards to the kettle and stir while cookin for a few minutes til it all gets a little brown. 8. Take kettle away from fire and drain grease into coffee can for future cookin. Split ramps between two plates and spoon meat and garlic over top. Enjoy with yer favorite beverage. Don't either of you bother see'in anybody else for several days until yer BO returns to normal. Skwerl-Onna-Stick - By Mountian Man Mark Geta gun and your best girl, preferribly the one with no wool. Go out into the woods and look for a good ottta way place and throw her down, when the squirrels hers dem nuts clacking together an' come runnin, have yer best girl shoots da biggest one! Cook over a medium open fire on a stick for about 30 minutes and eat the hell out of it, ( the squirell). Newfoundland Squirrel Patties - Trish This is a recipe out of an old cook book I have: 3 squirrels 1 cup grated potatoes 1 medium to large onion, minced 1 tbl catsup 2 tbls fine dry breadcrumbs 1 egg salt and black pepper to taste Skin, gut and cut up the squirrels. Put them in a pot of salted water and boil them. reduce the heat and let 'em simmer for an hour or until the meat is tender and can be easily removed from the bone. Cut the meat into small pieces. Put it in a bowl and add in the other ingredients and mix in a little bacon grease. Then make patties out of the mix and fry them in bacon grease until golden brown. You can vary the recipe. I think it tastes better with chives instead of minced onion or no onion at all. Serve with greens, beans or whatever suits you. Yummmmmmy!!! Kentucky Fried Skwerl by Anna First go skwerl huntin and kill you a couple of em. Skin em, gut em, Keep only the front and back legs and the back. Soak em overnight in saltwater. Go to Kmart. Get the Kentucky Kernel brand seasoned flour. Get a skillet of oil hot. Dip yer skwerls in the flour and throw em in the oil. Cook about 5 min, turn em over, cover, cook about 15 min, turn em over, cover, cook another 15. This is yummy, better than chikin! New Yory City Squirrel - anonymous go to 5th avenue and 42ns street scrape squireel off pavement add onion, pepper, garlic powder fry in oil for 15 minutes Ded Squirell by Cuzzin Pete Take yore daddy's 'ought-six buzzard gun an yore lil ol fice cocker bitch an go skwerl huntin. wen yo sees 'im in yer sights, blast the little basterd t' kingdom come! Pik up de bits wif medisinal tweezez or yore teef an cook em up good fore the mongrel dogs get at it. an have yoursehf a feast! You people are the most disgusting people I've ever heard of. Just take a fucking bite out of the squirrel as soon as you catch it! Sheesh. Engine Cooked Skwerl with Sweet Skwerl Sauce by Lily Paradise Must collect skwerl only on night when moon is on it's back... them skwerls be just ripe then. Take em home & pay tug e war with yer pit bull for 2 minutes. Once you got em killed and tenderized bring em inside garage and place in engine for 2 hours while cars running...must have running car to make this. Skwerl drippins will fall onto ground...oil pan good fer this dirty just makes it sweeter. Once all cooked bring oil & skwerl drippins up on engine and boil till it makes a blister on yer big toe. Pour sweet skwerl oil drippins over tender skwerl. Perfect for any feastin' day! Damn Good Buffalo Skwerl! - anonymous Get sum fat squirrel's. Make your best hot sauce, like you would put in wings. Skin...chop up. set deep fryer at 380. cook for 14 minutes, drain squirrel parts and coat with wing sauce. serve with a can of beer, celery and blue cheese. Spicy Sqirrell Sausage Spagetti - anonymous Ingredients 1 gal. ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon beer 5 lbs. sqirrell with most of the fur removed and intestines removed and reserved for stuffing sausages. 1/2 cup Morton's curing salt with salt peter added. 1 Tbls. cracked black pepper. 2 tbls. cayenne pepper. 20 beer nuts 2 deer nuts 1 lb. angel hair pasta cooked al dente 2 qts. Ragu squirel and pepperoni flavored pasta sauce. Instructions 1. Take beer and pour into the cook. 2. Grind sqirell coarsly don't worry bout small bones and cartilage. Add salt and pepper. 3.Using your thumb and fore finger, extrude any remaining undigested food and fecal matter and put down the garbage disposal or feed it to a dog, if you have one. 4.Stuff the intestines carefully with sausage mixture, trying not to rupture. 5. Simmer sausage in pasta sauce 6. Serve over hot noodles. 7. Eat and take a nap. Squirrel Taco surprise - Bill Harris, Oklahoma City Ingredients: 1.1 medium skinned squirrel 2.1 little dog like on TacoBell commercial Bake in oven for 3 hours, basting squirrel only, (thats the one on the right hand side). Serve with refried beans worstershire sauce. Peanut Butter Skwerl Cookies - anonymous climb up a tree at night and grab the squirrel out of the nest,(don't disturb the squirrel eggs). Put the live critter in your dryer and set on gentle cycle for 1 hour. Now the skin and entrails should be in the lint filter. Scrap the remaining meat off the inside of the dryer and blend with one-half jar of peanut butter. Spread the mixture on a cookie sheet and cut into one inch squares, decorate with M&Ms and wait for the kids at halloween. Street Squirrel - anonymous Find a squashed squirrel - trucks and larger vehicle squashes preferred. 1. scrape squirrel from pavement 2. boil carcass 3. add pinch of sugar, 1 large onion, garlic, celery to pot 4. take out of pot, put in oven bake at 350 for 20 mins; garnish w/ mustard and toppings 5. eat Skwerl Stu from Rik of The Wolves Shoot a Skwerl. Skin and gut it. Brown in butter. Make gravy with a tablespoon of flour and a little milk. Add a couple of quartered taters. A little onion, celery and carrots. Salt and pepper to taste. Let simmer for a couple of hours. This is deeelishousness. Skwerl Pot Pie - anonymous Ingredients: 1 skinned squirrel 1 store-bought pie crust 1 cup mixed vegtables pinch nutmeg pinch prapika pinch salt small pinch pepper 4 large potatoes 1/2 cup cheese 1/2 cup milk 1 stick butter How to cook: Blind bake store-bought pie crust,dice squirrel into small pieces,and fry off until brown. boil vegtables until tender, add spices, squirrel, and vegtables to blind baked store bought pie crust, mash cooked potatoes with milk and butter, add to the top of the pie sprinkle cheese on top of the potato and bake in a moderate oven (200degrees) for 45mins,and enjoy! Squirrel Oooo-la-la - anonymous first, you cut the skwerl open down its belly.take out its bladder. strech the bladder till you can fit the body inside. remove the nuts and put them where the brain goes. squeeze the juices over the body. put the rest of the brain in the mouth. slow roast over a fire until a light brown hue is accomplished.remove from the fire immediatly.let body cool.body should have a crunchy coating over the bladder. squeeze intestinal fluids over the squirrel.heat over fire.serve hot.makes 987,654,321,123,456,789 servings.i call it squirrel oooo-la-la!!!! Boiled Head Soup - anonymous you all boil your heads for thinking like that you idiots and meanies to poor defenseless animals! i hope you all will be smited good and die! Skwerl Sauerbraten - anonymous Two or three fat skwerls. Gut and skin, chop off head and tail. Set into large glas crock, pour in 4 cups of red wine vinegar, 4 cups of water , 3 tablespoons of sugar, handfull of peppercorns. Tablespoon of anchovy paste, cup of cheap red wine. Bring to boli and cool. Set crock in fridge for 2 weeks, flip skwerls on pot once a day. When they are ready put Marinated skwerls in 350 degree oven for 1 hour and ladle some of the marinade over em. Place bacon over them while cooking. This process takes the gaminess out of em. Skwerl on the Barby - anonymous Don't bother with all these lah de dah Skwerl recipes! Just chuck 'em on the Barby and eat plain :) Squirrel Hillbilly Style from Aurther Nobleman the 2nd First, you need to dress as a Hillbilly with overalls and everything, then apply war paint. Then you want to obtain a really big stick, and smack them squirrels up side the head. Make sure that you get all the fur off to turn it into earmuffs later. Then you want to wrap it in your long jons and throw it into the fire. Cook to taste Uncle Bucky's, Nephew Bones and Neice Beans Squirrel Nut Soup - anonymous 4 eggs 2 slices of cheese or a pair of Grandpa's old skidded up britches. (We personally just add the center of them britches) Yall do what ya want! One whole onion chopped and or; a pair of your neices freshly worn smelly socks. For added flavor allow socks to furment for a week in a dark place. 3 large taters chopped 1/2- 3/4 cup of milk 1 Skoal bandit (Trust me on diss here sh_t!) 2 lbs. of Squirrel Nuts (remove the fur!) add enough flour to make to a desired consistency. (make it as pasty or soupy as you like). Simmer on a medium low heat until yer fuzzy lil squirrel nuts and taters become very soft add 2 table spoons of butter just befoe you remove from heat. salt/pepper to yer liking! Eat and enjoy! Central Park Skwerl by anonymous shooot da dang skwerl! Place in potato sack! de fur da skwerl! place skwerl in big bowl, place the following gredients : 1 anvelope Lipton beefy onion soup mix 1 egg lemon peper bread crumbs adobo seasining jack daniels 1 teaspoon 1worchester sauce place on bread crumbs, put in olive oil cook 20 minutes. dang da best damn skwerl in NYC Squirrel Stew by anonymous first find a squirel, then kill it, (I know they looks cute, but trust me, they are even more delicious than cute). any good .177 air gun work just fine (velocity of about 190 M\S) if you shoot it in the head, but if you miss, the squirrel will just run and die somewhere else and so you will loose your precious meat so aim carfully. You can alternatively choose to use a trap or a firearm. Then you have to skin it and guts it.I advise cutting the skin just above the inferior leg and then pull the skin while stepping on the squirrel tail with your foot, this will save you time, especially if it is your first time skinning a rodent. Once the skinning is done, chop the head off and take all the organs out, the same way you would do with a fish. You also need to chop of the tail and the end of the legs. If you do not plan to eat the squirrel right away, you should put it in the freezer until you are ready. Now it is time to cook the squirrel, this is my favorite recipe. SQUIREL STEW This recipes is for only one person (one squirrel), mutiply the ingredient by the number of squirrel you cook. 1 squirel 2 medium potatoes diced 2 Carrots sliced 1 Large onion sliced 1 Celery sliced Salt Pepper Garlic Water Put the unfrozen squirrel in a pan large enough, then pour water until the squirrel is half covered . Add the onion, cover and bring to boil, once the water is boiling, reduce heat and let the ingredients cook for about half an hour or until the meat falls from the bones. Then remove the squirrel from the stock and save it for later. Remove all the bones from the meat and put it back in the stock, add the carrot, the celery the garlic, the salt and the pepper. Put the pan back on the fire and let it cook for about 15 min. Add the potatoes and let it cook for another 20 min. You can also add corn starch near the end of the cooking to get a thicker sauce. Hope you enjoy this receipt, squirrels are in fact delicious. Southern Skwerlcicle - Billy Bob Jim Joe Ya need, 4-large skwerls 4-Large cans o' apple juice 1-bottle a J.D. 1-4 foot broom handle 1-skilsaw Skin and gut yer Skwerls, chop the headz n tailz off, warsh em' and set aside. Open the 4 cans of apple juice and empty each half way into a large pitcher. Git yur skilsaw and cut the broom handle inta 4 eekwall parts. Now shove them handles where the sun don't shine...not you stoopid the skwerlz! Invert and stuff into halve filled juice cans place in freezer fur 4 hours. When solid, serve to anyone that's whinning 'bout how hot the weather is. While they're enjoyin' their treat, take the rest of the apple juice and add as much J.D. as you can stomach and git loaded watchin' NASCAR! Skwerl Nuts by Susan from Buttcrack, Mississippi This way is for men only! Ah hell, Y'all, the easiest way to cooks a squirrel is ta take some nuts, stick 'em in your underwear, waits for the skwerlz to come find 'em, and then gives them such a smack! They's deader than a doornail, they iz! Course, you beter hope that they picks the right nuts to bite!!! Then, you get some charcoal brikets and stick it in your underware and cooks them! The skwerlz I mean! Hoity Toity Swerl Pate from Patriot Bubba First, poison the family of Skwerls livin in yer attic. (There should be no need to skin or gut them if you use the right poison)! Next, run their carcasses through one of those food processor dealies. (You know, that thing yer wife just HAD to have! Make sure to shake the dust off before using.) Throw in some wild onions, garlic and mandrake root. If'n you don't have mandrake root then use a tater I guess. Pour in a fifth of Jack Daniels or Old Crow or Kerosene (whatever yer favorite beverage might be). Blend it all together until creamy Strain out the chunks of bone and brains and strain through burlap. Mash it into a meatloaf pan and chill. Serve with saltines at the Lodge meetin. Squirrel Delight - anonymous 1. 10 or 12 live squirrels, (to avoid bad bites, use a live trap) 2. Large flat dish, (14" to 16") 3. 2 cobs corn 4. 3 slices whole wheat bread 5. 2 cups sunflower seeds, (unsalted), preferably shelled 6. 1 large cucumber sliced, not peeled 7. Large apple diced, not peeled 8. 1 slice watermelon, about 2" thick, cut in four pieces 9. 1 cup hamburger, (VERY lean) 10. Place all ingredients, except the squirrels, on the large plate. Set plate in shady area. 11. Turn squirrels loose near by and sit back and enjoy the show!!!! 12. For some variations, add raisins, cherries, grapes, strawberries, cantaloupe, etc. Crispy Skwerl avec Cranberry - Collin Brown hi, my name is collin brown and i only have one arm,well any way enough about me you kill a squirrel with a shot gun or something and then grill on the grill for about an hour cook till brown and crisp add some cranberry and then add pinaple juice heck i eaven serve it for dessert Campfire Skwerl - anonymous 1) Shoot squirrel 2) Stick squirrel on spit (after picking out shot) 3) Roast squirrel over fire 4) Boil canned corn over fire 5) Serve squirrel and corn together. Yum yum yum! Uni-Tooth's Best Way to Eat Squirrel from Uni-Tooth 1. Obtain squirrel carcass (where fast buzzards reside, you gotta shoot one yerself. If you dont have a gun try the park, those are tame and often will come close enough for you to club them) 2. Leave carcass on a piece of particle board, in the sun for 3 days. (dounce with water twice daily) 3. Eat the board Dans Skwirl D-zert by Dan 5 skwirlz 1 pint of grannies 'shine 2 cups of huny 1/2 cup of blakberrys 3 paks of twinkies 1 large doobie First off, u gotta get yer 5 skwirlz and shave em with ur pa's huntin nife. Take off the heads an tails as they has no nootrients in em. pull all of the guts out. (Save them tails fer the little ones to play with). Next, u gotsa put em in a bowl and cuvr em wit da huny. Once they is fully cuvrd, add in grannies 'shine and dem berys. Put that ther mixture out'n the barn fer 'bout 2 days to sofen up. (hav yerself a slingshot reddy 'case thers any critters cum snifin around fer a free meal). Once yer mixture is good an tendr, bring it on back to tha house and brake up all dem twinkies an sprinkle em on top. Put it in da stove fer about 2 hours er so till the twinkies is all disolvd. (make sur ther aint no lid on it er grannies shine may ignite an blow yer stove up) Smoke tha big doobie while yous is waitin(to bild up a powerful hunger.) wen it is all dun, scoop it over some flapjax an enjoy! Squirrel Stew Tar-Tar from anonymous 1 skwerl 1 pot of warm water Peel one dead skwerl off the road and take off the skin, and take out the bones, put one piece of meat and one bone in a big pot of warm water, dinner for however many people you need! Just add more water! Oh, and give the rest of the skwerl meat to your dawg. Squirrel's Revenge by anonymous One human [skinned] and jointed A cup of oil A very large pan two bay leaves Can celery soup and some peanuts Method Pour oil in pan. Fry human with a little salt and pepper. Add bay leaves. Add cup water and soup. Allow to cook until tender. Serve with side dish of peanuts. Advice... leave human to stew in his own juices and eat the peanuts Paw's Casserole by anonymous 5 pounds maple syrup 3 ounces mary jane a couple of dem beers 1 fat squirrel (rodekeel) some o' maw's pills 1 grampa (preferably yours) FLOUR??????????? mash and mix stuff up 'cept fo da flour and grampa and squirrel. bake in oven at hot degrees. take it out soon. grate squirrel on top and bake. to make gravy mix up grampa and flour and add some pond water. scrape da squirrel off da tires and mix it in too. stir and drench casserole in it. YUMMY! Squirrel Pie By Kaitlyn B 1 cup of milk Dash of salt 2 squirrels ( live or dead) A dash of baking powder Pie Dish Pie crust Cherries Skin your squirrels and cut the head off. Put the head in the middle of the pie dish. Dump your cherries in. Put all your ingrediatents in except the dash off salt and baking powder. Then fold ur crust and you pinch it with those little fingers of yours! Then put the dash of salt and baking powder on the top. Put 3 fork holes in ur pie darlin! Bake 4 10 minutes in oven at 375. Be careful 4 squirrel guts rollin out, he he just kiddin. Then take ur pie out and your ready to enjoy it honey. He har har hee Chip-Skwerl De-Light by Kyle K Take a squirrel and a chipmunk and cook them for 10 minutes, next cover them with peanut butter and sugar and cook them for 10 more minutes then place them between two hamburger buns and chow down (trust me there good, really good but make sure you eat it at a hospital just in case of emergemcy)! Squirreled Cheese by Patriot Mallory first ov all, i receemend you git yourself an oven preheated or git yourself a fire goin'. Now here's what ya need( this here meal serves 3) 1 squirrel 2 pieces of bread fer each person some butta 2 pieces a cheese fer person also yer gonna need a spatula and a pan fer the squirreled cheese to go in. and a knife to spread the butta. you'll need to gut and skin and slice yer ther squirrel before ya gonna cook it. start by putting butta on one side of each piece a bread with your knife. set yur bread butta side down in the pan (make sure ya preheated the oven first). then set the cheese on the bread, then put the squirrel meat in the middle, and finally the otha piece a bread with the butter side up. after ya hear a sizzle sound, ya should probably flip yer there sandwhich. then ya wait to hear teh sizzle again, then ya take the sandwhich out! it's that easy! yer there fam'ly and and yer neighbors will find this meal tasty! Sa-Lo-Li (Baked Skwerl) by anonymous Dress out one skwerl per diner. do so by throwing in a fire to singe off all hair. now wash and scrub remaining hair off with ashes from the fire.Wash again when thoroughly scraped clean, and innerds removed. Rub thoroughly with lard and wood ash until meat is white. Bake before an open fire or in an oven until browned nicely. render grease to mix in with cornmeal or cornstarch, for a nice gravy. May be served with yellow jacket soup... Yellow Jacket Soup or S-Ka-V Oo-Ga-Ma: Gather yellow jacket combs (nests) Pick out the grubs. Be careful to keep them intact. Put the grubs in the oven on a pan to brown. Make a soup of the browned grubs by adding them to water with some grease and a little salt. Squirrel Mulligan by Patriot Alexandra Well, I got this recipe from my pappaw so I can't take the credit. couple squirrels(how ever many you need) some carrots, potatoes, celery, and any other veggies ya want dash o' salt dash o' pepper couple twigs and leaves, whatever you want Skin and gut the squirrel. Cut it into squares or dice it. Boil it for 35 min. or until done. Maybe you should boil it before you cut it up. Now add the veggies, salt, pepper, twigs, and leaves. WAIT!!! I FORGOT SOMETHING!!!! Add 2 cups of water to a pot. THEN, add the squirrel meat and all the dressin's. Cook til done(mostly when veggies are soft but if you like 'em a lil' crunchy, that's alright too). I'd suggest cooking it for at least 20 minutes. Take it out when ready and enjoy!!! I recomend eating it with homemade rolls/biscuits. Biscuit Recipe: 1 cup flour 1 cup water 1/2 tsp salt Stir together. Roll out and shape into biscuits. Don't really care how big you do it. Just depends on how big your biscuits are as to how many you have. For better results, I recomend using milk instead of water. You can also add about tiny bit o' melted butter for a lil' creaminess. Hope you enjoy my recipe!!! Thanks yall!! Alex Squirrel Newport by anonymous Carefully harvest four to six squirrels off of your bird feeder with a pellet gun from your back door. Make sure your tree- hugging, yuppy puppy neighbors don't see you. Skin, gut and quarter the squirrels. Cover squirrel parts with black pepper. Brown three tablespoons all purpose flour in about four tablesponns of oil till roue is medium to dark brown. Sautee a half finely chopped bell pepper and five finely chopped green onions in roue. Add squirrel parts and brown. Add water to cover squirrel parts. Add chopped carrots (2) and chopped celery (2). Add dash of thyme, basil, salt, and rosemary. Cover and cook over low heat for about two hours until squirrel is falling from bone. Serve over rice to your tree-hugging, yuppy puppy neighbors telling them that it's chicken gumbo. Skwerl Sushi by anonymous Shooter down. skiner and licker. then eat right on dat spot. You wont get sick if you eater right aways. Mighty fine. Redneck Scramble by anonymous Fill up your outhouse with dynamite. Shove all your kin in there. Then you get in and light a match. You won't be eatin any skwerls but you're all a bunch of ignorant jerks for publishing these so-called recipes. Skwerl Italiano from anonymous 4 skinless, boneless skwerls fresh oregano fresh rosemary fresh basil olive oil diced tomatoes garlic Slowly warm olive oil in large skillet, adding fresh chopped oregano, rosemary, basil and garlic. When oil becomes warm and aromatic, add slabs of skwerl. Brown on one side, then turn. Cook for approx. another 8 minutes. Serve with risotto and Caesar salad and your choice of a fine Italian wine Skwerl Buritoo - anonymous Firs' 'yall bes be gittin' da big 'ol cage, put lots an' lots o' noots in eet, den wait fo' some skwerls to come round. Hurry, now an' close da cage good an' shut, den roll it down d, bigges' hill in yo' neibur's yard fo' nice an' tendorised skwerleis. Now is 'da time to take 'dem skwerlies an' bear 'dem 'gainst sum trees fo' good measure. Now remove 'dem tails an' skin 'dem skwerls. Now ees da time to wrap da skwerls in da tails an' kook. Add wun gallon o' hot sauce and eat. Flat Skwerl Surpise Firstly find a road kill Skwerl make sure it aint to flat and maggoty. Soak in salty water for 5 days to plump the critter back up. Then slit the belly open and remove the entrails,pack the cavity with a mixture of crushed hazel nuts,parsley,butter and garlic. Sew the cavity back up and then stick a skewer up its ass. Light a nice little fire outdoors and make a spit.lay the Skwerl over the spit and roast for approx 1 hour or until the fur has burnt off and the skin is peelable, Serve with a mixed green salad and some garlic bread. ENJOY. Steve's South West Squirrel - from Patriot Steve R. A variation of Grandma's recipe which I posted as "Grandma's Squirrel Pot Pie" After skinning and cleaning your catch place in salt water and bring to a boil. Should be at least two large gray squirrels, one large rabbit, or two large chicken breasts. (better if you can soak the meat a while first) Debone meat after it is cooked well enough to come off the bone easy by hand, and making sure to remove all shot shell and bone fragments. Set ready to use meat aside to mix with the next batch of stuff below. Ingredients needed:
Select a baking pan and pre-heat the oven to 300 degrees. Using Mission Yellow Corn Tortillas cover the bottom of the pan by overlapping the tortillas so the bottom isn't showing and pour the above ingredients in on top of the tortillas. (you can substitute taco shells or nachos if you like) Cover the top of the mix with grated pepper jack cheese or colby cheese and bake at 300 degrees uncovered for half and hour or until the cheese is startin' to get brown. You can eat this by itself and its great or you can pour it over rice or steamed vegetables. I've even filled soft tacos with it for a double decker type of meal and I've also used doritos instead of tacos or tortillas. It goes well with Taco Bells Mild and Fire sauces too. They are all great, as it is a very forgiving and flavorful recipe capable of fitting into any dining room. Congrats, you've just taken a basic Cream of something soup dish from way back when and then taken it up a couple notches. This is a delicious dish that won't leave leftovers. If you don't like spice, simply leave out the peppers and substitute with another green or red pepper. It is still delicious, and very quick and easy. You'll make it again and again. Smaug's Squirrel Pie Extrordiniare 2 or 3 fresh squirrels of the roadkill variety. pastry shell chopped celery, carrots, peas onioins etc squirrel gravy combine ingredients and place in pie shell. bake at 375c for 1.3 hours eat with your sister have fun Holiday Elixir - anonymous three purty good uns skinned gutted chopped an such 15 gallons good whiskey boil skwerls in whiskey strain through linnen drink whiskey Squirrel Supprize - submitted by Krevich from friend of Krevich hunt down a dozen or more squirrels or more {recommend using a 410 shot gun with #4 shot, this slows them down). then skin them, gut them, cut there heads and tails off. next boil them down so that it is easier to debone them, I recommend adding onions and bell peppers. now that their boil down debone them and put into a bowl, add 1 can evaporated unsweetened milk and 1 can cream of mushroom soup, mix well. prepare 2-3 boxes of stove top stuffing adding in the juices onions and peppers leftover from boiling down the squirrels. after that is done pour the squirrels into a casarol dish and carefully place the stuffing on top of the squirrel. cover dish with foil. place in oven at 350 f (NOT celceus or kelvin). cook for 40-60 minutes, remove and serve. serves 1 fat body, 3 country boys, 6 people, or 8 crumb snachers Grandma's Squirrel Pot Pie - anonymous (recipe by Steve's Grandma)
For variety soups can be interchanged with cream of brocolli, cream of asparagus, cream of celery or cream of chicken.. Makes a hearty meal for 4 adults/ feeds six children... SQUIRREL FRICASSEE - anonymous
makes 4 servings SQUIRREL DUMPLINGS - anonymous This is an excellent way to cook old squirrels which are too tough for frying.
Varmint Vittles By Willie Pete Firstly yeh haves teh pile up de chilluns an' yo fice mongrel dogs an' the missus in de pickie truck. An git yer 12 gage sawed up an yore bullits an make lak hell fer dem' hills. An don fergit yer fixins an such neither. Stop de truckie up a nice holler an' git dem fice cocker hounds an' yer gun an yer 'medisin teh keep the chill off. Kill a mess 'ah skwerls an vermints nice 'n so. Gives de chillun an dem fice mongerels the exters 'o the sum-biches so's to mischeef wit. Have yer missus kook dem varmints real nice wit Punkie spice an sweet taters an such. Set back wit a might sip o Milwalkeys an such in yer fancy lawn settin char. Now yehs kin eat dem skwerls an varmints an sech wit de missus an de chillun yo haveing a powerful enjoe-able time of et. Dey tast lak hell fahr but ah says dats sum good vittles. Hope yehs likes it. ~Pete Abert Squirrel with Southern Brown Gravy - Patriot Jenn I can't claim credit for this recipe but I got out of an Arizona Sportsman and thought you might use it. 3-4 Squirrel (1 per person) 4 -6 Tbls Lard or Bacon Grease 2 cup Flour 1 Tsp Garlic Salt 1 Tsp Garlic Powder 2 Beef Bouillon Cubes 2 Chicken Bouillon Cubes 1 Tsp Sage 1 Tsp Dried Mustard 1 Tsp Porterhouse or Roast Seasoning 1 cup Onion 1 cup Celery 2 cup Mushrooms, sliced 1pk Wild Rice or Mashed potatoes SQUIRREL PREP Using a sharp knife remove both front and hind legs at the joints. The cut the back section just below the rib cage and in front of the hips. Trim off any excess skin. Season both sides of the squirrel sections with garlic salt, garlic powder, roast seasoning, salt and pepper. Then dredge in flour and set aside. In a hot skillet using bacon drippings or lard brown both sides of the floured meat to brown. Remove from pan and set aside. Then drain off excess grease. STOCK PREP In a sauce pan dissolve 2 beef and 2 chick bouillon cubes in 1 cup of water. Then season with sage and dried mustard. COOKING Add stock to skillet and de-glaze pan. Return squirrel pieces to pan. Add water if necessary to cover meat. Add onions, mushrooms and celery. Cover and cook on medium to low for 2-3 hours or until tender. GRAVY After the squirrel is done cooking, remove the meat pieces and set on warming plate. To prepare the gravy, blend flour and some milk to the consistency of pancake batter in a separate mixing bowl. Slowly stir mixture into stock and vegetables to thicken. SERVE To serve, place a scoop of rice or mashed potatoes in the middle of the plate, add squirrel pieces all around and then cover liberally with gravy and vegetable mixture. Garnish with parsley and green onions. Serve with your favorite red wine with some hot fresh bread and enjoy. Squirrel n' a Crockpot From Why me Initials J.I.S From M Town Dress squirrel. Then wash it thoroughly as to not leave any fur on it. Put Squirrel in Crock Pot set on high for 3 hours. Take squirrel out and cut into serving pieces. Then fry the critter in vegetable oil until golden brown. I've never had it but they say it's good. Carpaccio of Sqrat - Anonymous Get a bunch of live sqrats (half-squirrel half-rat, found only in New York city) Kill 'em dead, slice 'em up, sear the meat, cut off the seared parts place slices on a bed of greens such as watercresss, endive, arugula and/or radicchio serve with a cold vinaigrette made with olive oil, or just olive oil and lemon juice. sprinkle some Parmesan on if desired Tip of the day - Anonymous my wumon katie says 2remind U tht dead skwerls kook up best iffen U put tha live uns in the pot they mak a turribl rakkit an sum times git away whn ure not lookin. Burgoo Medley - from Patriot Missy 1 lb. squirrel, cut into 1" cubes 1/2 lb. pork butt, cut into 1" cubes 1 1/2 lbs. chicken leg/thigh quarters 1 quart beef stock 1 quart chicken stock, plus 2-4 quarts more 1 C unpeeled red potatoes, medium diced 1 cup red onion, medium diced 1 C lima or fava beans 1 C diced green peppers 1 C diced, peeled carrots 1 C corn kernels 1 oz. Ancho chilies, toasted, seeded, stemmed and cut into small pieces 1/2 tsp. cayenne 1 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 3/4 tsp. pepper 1 C sliced okra 4 large garlic cloves , minced 2 C canned chopped tomatoes 2 T cider vinegar 2 T lemon juice 3 T Kentucky Bourbon, more to taste 12 T Worcestershire Sauce 1 T hot sauce 1/2 C parsley, chopped Cut excess fat from chicken legs, leaving skin intact. Combine squirrel, pork and chicken in large stockpot with beef and chicken stock. Bring to a full boil and skim any froth or gray foam from the top. Reduce the heat and simmer for 2 hours. Remove the chicken legs and let cool. Remove skin and bones, shred chicken meat and return to pot. Add potatoes, onions, beans, green pepper, carrots, corn chiles, cayenne, salt and pepper. Simmer another 3 hours, adding 2-4 quarts of chicken stock, as needed, to keep stew from getting too thick. After 3 hours add okra, garlic, tomatoes, vinegar, lemon juice, bourbon, Worcestershire sauce, and hot sauce. Simmer another 6 hours, adding chicken stock if necessary. Add parsley after burgoo is cool. Finished burgoo should have a soup, not stew consistency and must cook 12 hours. Can be started one day, cooled quickly and finished the next day. Refrigerate overnight to mellow the flavors and make the removing of fat easier Engin Manfold Wild Mater Stew - from OMS 10 friskee skwerls 12 pack PBR (cans er bootles) punkin spice bag flour 2 wild mater plants some caintuk (kentucky) tobacc Take 5 dead skwerls an de toof em an de fur em. then roll em in beer batter mixed wif punkin spice. set nem aside take big ol pot mixe engreedients in it then throw the 5 liven skwerls in wif thems tails tied together an let em mix it up real good. add the 5 battered dead ones and cook on over heated engine manifold till nem live ones stop kicken then eat. Canned Skwerl Recipie - anonymous take 3 skwerls, put em in a can, add salt, put the lid on, cook it in real hot water open and serve on Ritz crakers Squirrel with Parsley - from Cheryl 3 Squirrels 2 sm Onions, minced 1 c Mashed potatoes, cold 4 tb Parsley, chopped Salt and Pepper to taste 4 tb Dandelion greens, chopped or water cress 2 tb Butter Cook squirrels in salted water for 30 to 45 minutes. Remove meat from bones. Blend together meat, onions, potatoes, and parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Form into balls and roll in dandelion greens or water cress. Fry in hot butter. Melted Skwerl - anonymous Put da dead squirrel in da freeken oven til it melts tooo de deaf. Then suck the squirrel goo out of the oven on to a bowel. Serve with pickeled pig eyes. Contry-Style Groundhog - anonymous
NOTE: Clean and skin as soon as possible. Remove all sent glands. Cut off head, feet and tail. Cure in cool place by suspending from hook approximately 4 days. When ready to cook, lard according to recipe. Dress groundhog as for rabbit, removing the small sacs in the back and under the forearm. Soak groundhog overnight in salted water to remove wild flavor. Combine flour, salt, pepper and sada; rub into groundhog pieces. Brown grounhog in hot oil in skillet; sprinkle with sugar. Reduce heat; add 1/2 cup water. Cover; simmer for about 30 minutes or until tender. Remove cover; cook for 10 minutes longer. Oriental Squirrel Banquet - from anonymous Ideally, in the northern hemisphere, this sumptuous menu should be enjoyed as part of the Thanksgiving festivities as the little tinkers will be stuffed to the brim with all sorts of nutrients prior to the onset of barren winter. For those of you domiciled in the southern hemisphere, I would suggest that you use this mouth filling feast to celebrate the passing of the winter solstice (around June 20th-22nd when the sun reaches the tropic of cancer. For exact timing, look in your copy of Old Moores Almanac). Use only the freshest of Squirrels (you will need twenty for a good meal for 4 people, or a finger buffet for 10). SQUIRREL SUSHI Prepare sushi rice in the traditional way. Holding the squirrel firmly against a chopping board cut cleanly through the root of the tail and set aside for later. Carefully remove whole squirrel feet and set aside for later in a marinade of Chinese white wine, dark soy sauce, corn flour, garlic, five spice powder, and a good pinch of lapsang souchong tealeaves. Skin and joint the carcass and, with a filleting knife carefully remove strips of flesh from the legs. Put the stripped carcasses in a stock pot with onion, garlic, fresh coriander leaves, bay leaves 10 black pepper corns and a good slug of Sake. Bring to a rolling boil making sure that you skim any scum, whiskers or fur that float to the surface. To serve... Place a layer of dried seaweed on a traditional sushi mat, followed by the rice, pickled ginger, fresh wasabi and the squirrel strips. Roll, cut into desired lengths and garnish with crushed hazelnuts. A squeeze of fresh lime juice adds that special twist. Serve with ice chilled 100% proof vodka. STIR FRIED SQUIRREL CLAWS WITH SHIITAKE, OYSTER SAUCE AND GARNISHED WITH DEEP FRIED SQUIRREL TAIL Finely chop onion, garlic, ginger and stir fry for one minute, then add marinated squirrel feet, shiitake mushrooms and fry on high heat for one minute. Reduce heat, add oyster sauce to taste, moisten with your rich squirrel stock and allow liquid to reduce to a syrupy glaze while you prepare your deep fried squirrel tail. Cut across the tail to produce rounds about 25 mm / 1 inch high. Brush the fur so it sticks out, dip into tempura batter and deep fry in hot oil immediately for 3 minutes. Plate up with Chinese chive and coriander garnish and serve with you choice of rice or noodles. A Greek retsina or ouzo goes remarkably well with this, or the more conservative of you would probably opt for a Argentinean Sauvingon Blanc. Micowave and Boiled Squirrel Pasta - from anonymous Heat 4 live squirrels in your microwave for flavor. Then slice each squirrel int exactly 11 pieces.Boil for 6 minutes. Serve on pasta. Skwerly Stu - from anonymous Needed: 1 fat evil skwerl 2 cups of carrots 1 cup donkey brains 26 pounds squirrel kidneys To gather: Cause the extinction of the entire squirrel population and remove kidneys from all but one, leave it whole. Kill five donkeys (very little brains they have)Pull up half of Old Mr. McGregors garden of carrots To cook: Bring this mess of mush to a boil in a giant boiler on a ship (like the Titanic) Wait for it to bubble out the top of the ships smokestacks. Catch in a bowl and gulp down. Repeat as necessary. Serves:1 Slow Cooked Squirrel - from anonymous 2 squirrels - skinned, gutted, and cut into pieces 4 large potatoes, quartered 1 pound carrots, chopped 1 green bell pepper, chopped 4 onions, sliced 2 cups water 1/4 medium head cabbage 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon ground black pepper Directions 1) In a slow cooker, place the squirrel meat, potatoes, carrots, green bell pepper, onions, water, cabbage, salt and ground black pepper. 2) Cover and cook on low setting for 8 hours. Mystical Skwerl Brains - from anonymous 15 pounds of squirrel brains 10 pounds of marijuana 10 pounds of flour mix, bake and eat Chef's Tip... from anonymous Well i find that when i eat my home grown squirles they are a little too chewy. So i add some orande juice to softin uop the skin. Also u can uase the fur fir wulf bat. 'Splodin Skwerls Wot Set There and Fizz for a Moment, Then Pop - by Tony 12 skwerls (lightly killed) 7 bottles o' VINIGUR! 1 whole dang lot o' Tums n Alka Seltzer Pour the vingur into the skwerls, put the antacids into the skwerls, run, hide. Gormay Skwerlz - by Tony Now I teetsh yew howta mayk food like they does on the TV set. 1 vary fantsy-lukin skwerl with awl the trimmins (no fer) 1 can o' sprayo mayo 1 jar Cheez Whiz 1 spit 1 bunch o' fansy vejies n froots Tayk the swerl, stuff up wit Sprayo Mayo, sit aside for latur. Spit in Cheez Whiz, whip it up fine, so's it are vary light and fluffee (if yewanna yew kud use yer motor-power weedtrimmerer). Dip skwerl in it. Put it in the oven and then go git the one that you mayd before and show it to ivryone. Say sum stuffs and don't stop tokking till them werds come moving across the screen that says everybody's name. Just like them fantsy shifs on the Cooking Show makes! As the frentsh wud say, "blou bluh blurrulb bleah bluah"! Sloppy Clems - anonymous git sum skwarlls, m'be ten hundred or two. chop 'em up real fine. run down to the store or send yer cuzzin if yer so enclined. don't furget the food stamps!!! get sum bulls eye hickory smoke bbq sauce, like a case of it, sum hot sauce, some dried red peppars, an' some old millwalkys beer. then throw everythin in a big ol pot, but brown yer skwarls first so as to burn off the fur and get you some grease (put the grease aside for lubin the truck). then simmer it all for a fortnite. whin its dun, send yer cuzzin back to the store to git sum buns. ladle a heap-o-skwarll fixens on top of em and you got sum Sloppy Clems!!! Why it yummy: it's an equired taste! Vary Mutsh Taystee Skwurrul - by Tony 1. get skwerl 2. tayk all fir off um 3. smeer hunnee on um 4. opin up all yor erbz and seezningz and spicez 5. kuk it in oven 6. when done kuking thum, stop kuking 7. oh yeah I forgot yor sposed ta put the seezning onit be four yoo kuk um. Skwerl Fingers - anonymous ingredients: buttermilk, self rising flour, deep fryer, skwerls, hairspray, lighter and squirt gun filled with LSD. step 1: find large congregation of skwerls and shoot with squirtgun filled with LSD step 2: wait for skwerls to start hallucinating then set ablaze with hairspray and lighter step 3: clean skwerls and keep only long strips of meat step 4: cover skwerl meat in self rising flour, dip in the buttermilk and cover again in self rising flour step 5: put in deep fryer until a golden brown 2 skwerls serves 1 person, remember to garnish dish with acorns and twigs and always remember a good BBQ sauce or Honey Mustard for dipping! Bubba Skwerl - anonymous 1 skwerl 2 cans of PBR take that skerl by the tail an smack on tree till its daid. Then throwd it on a far with yer favrit spices and drink yer beer. Squirrel Bread - from a vacationer in Heaven, where there are lots more squirrels than people ½ cup blanched almonds ½ cup pecans 1 cup sifted flour 2 tsp baking powder Pinch of salt 1-cup stone ground whole-wheat flour ¾ cup sugar 1 tsp shortening 1 egg 1-cup milk Grind almonds & pecans then set aside. Sift flour with baking powder & salt. Stir in whole-wheat flour. Cream sugar & shortening until crumbly. Beat in egg; gradually add dry ingredients to egg mixture alternately with milk, beating until smooth. Stir in nuts; pour into greased 9X5 loaf pan. Let rest 20 minutes. Bake in 350 oven 1 hr &15 minutes. It is wonderful because it is squirrel-friendly Hickory Smoked Skwerl - from Stumpy Clean 2 skwerls, soak in salt water over night in the fridge...the one that works, not the one in the front yard. Take the skwerls out of the water, dry thoroughly, then coat with vegetable oil, and cover completely with flour or cracker crumbs. Preheat the oven to 375. Place both the skwerls on a well greased piece of Hickory wood. (Oak works well, but costs alot more) Make sure that you grease the wood on both sides and the edges, Vegetable lard works the best. Place the skwerls in the center of the oven, and bake for 40-45 minutes. When the skwerl is nice and brown, take it out, and let them cool. When cooled, give the skwerls to the dog and eat the wood. If you did use oak, you got ya a hi-price meal. Yummy!!! Krispy Skwerl - anonymous Find a skwerl, shoot it, burn to a crisp. Enjoy! Skwerl-N-Kat Soup - anonymous one cup each of skwerl and cat, two dumb rednecks, and a bottle of jack. you can't eat 'em, but they're sure fun to watch. Reverse Skwerl Surprise - anonymous OK first you need a gun....a tent...and a fire. set up your tent, outside the tent start a nice fire. Wait for the skwerls to come close to the nice warm fire...then take your gun and SHOOT URSELF IN THE HEAD, 4 times...then lay down and let the skwerls enjoy seeing you DIE Western Grey Spice-n-Fry - anonymous You gut em, skin em, debone em and strip the meat. Then soak the strips in buttermilk then spice and fry (don't over cook em) it in real butter, thay are to die for. Good eats. drunkin billy skwerl (OMS) git 16 skwerls 2 cases of PBR First drink all the beer then take them skwerls an puts em behind the tires of yer pick'em up then rund over nems sum bitches with it till there eyes pop out an the toung is sticken out da mouth after that throwed em in a metal trash can on top a blazen far with whatever beer you puke up an some petrolium jelly and 2 pouches of Levi garret. Cook'em till thays smellin good nuf ta et Skwerl Paranoid - anonymous 1. get skwerl 2. cookum 3 stopkooking thum four. eat i'm skayrt this noofanguld kuntrapshin 'kumpudor' bye Skwerl Lite - Skwerlhugger Wetbucketjessica TAKE ONE SQUIRREL AND PUT IT IN A CAGE. GIVE IT SOME FRIED CHICKEN AND NUTS TO MAKE IT FAT. THEN GIVE THEM A BIG OL' KISS AND SEND IT ON ITS WAY. YOU WILL FEEL A LOT BETTER KNOWING THAT YOU SET IT FREE INSTEAD OF KILLING IT. Billy Skwerl Mashe take 10 daid skwerls, make sure they's good an daid farst. tendarize them sum bitches wit a big ol' stick er one nem's cinder blocks holdin up one yer cars. git 2 cases of PBR, then drink em. after that throwed them rascles in a metal trash can with how ever much beer you puke up then put on a blazen far till they's smell good nuf ta et Broken Skwerl Boil - Patriot Layton Take your cleaned squirrels and put them in a pot and boil them for about 25 minutes. Take them out of the pot and break their legs off and tear their back into. Roll them in some flour and mix in some salt and pepper, and some hot sauce if u like...... put some oil in a frying pan, and cook them until they are golden brown...... mmmm, mmmm, good... MR LAYTON Naypalm Skwerl - Anonymous Ingredients: Naypalm 10 Skwerls Tabascy Skyrnyrd recrd Wees us used tuh eat theeus at thur Hope's faimly cook out. Hat diggudy dayum sure eeus faan washed dayoown weeuth pow-cheen an meeulwawkis beyust Beat yr skwerl with an axehandle til its flat. tie it to a tree and Naypalm that sheeyut. Cuvr in thu Bascy an eat it. Lisn tu thu Skynrd. This can be modufahd fr coons, bull toads, wolvreens, an' othir unsavory types. Skwerl Seizr - anonymous 10 live skwerls in a cage (or in yer trunk) 4 containers of Bac-O-Bits or, head of pig minced up all fine-like will make an acceptable substtitute. 1 giant container of ranch dressing 3 hearts of romaine 3 40s of Hamms. 1 container of parmeson cheese, the good kind that comes in dem containers with de grating done already 1 double barrel shotgun, 40 shells. vineger and salt and peppar to taste First, you take dem skwerls and use a beer can to whack 'em in de head to stun him. When dey out cold, chop off dem little heads with de hubcap popped off de 79 Chevy you been keeping round the wood pile. If you ain't got a wood pile, use de scissors. If you ain't got scissors, use your tooth. After you chopped or bit off dem heads you got to shoot off all dem implements of de legs and such like while you down yer first 40. Don't bite em' off, they'll be stuck in yer snaggle tooth with thar claws. Stuff thar nubs with de pig bits. Dump that industrial sized ranch dressing in yer shop sink, make sure you wipe the oil out first, and place de furry carcasses of skwerl in thar. Now yer fat cousin Louellen, have her sit on de sink for 3 days, you know she ain't done nothin but collect workmans comp since the bridge pile on fell on her. De marinaten skwerl should take no less than 3 days and will taste better if she sits on thar longer, like 2 weeks. After she done got off de sink throw away dem 3 hearts of romaine-nobody likes dem vegetables anyway and dey distract from de ranch dressin' flaver. Pile dem tasty things into de oven and set to broil. When de ranch dressin' has turned brown and is steemin a bit, your Skwerl Seizr is almost done. Take any remaining ranch dressin and spoon it up on thar hot varmint platter and add sum cheese. Get yer hubcap or yer scissers and serve dem up all piping hot and if you want em' purdy like garnish dem with de used shotgun shells and parselye. Skwerl Blown-a-Part - anonymous take a live skwerl, a tent stake,a couple boxes of 10 ga. 3 1/2 inch shot shells, and a piece of rope. pound the stake into the ground and tie the skwerl to it. empty the gun powder of the shot shells into a pile by the skwerl lite the powder without killin yourself. if the skwerl wasnt blown to the next county and u find it, the skwerl should be done just just right. season and enjoy Skwerl Upchuck - anonymous eat one skwerl - drink some jack - puke - then eat it again Squirrel Mash - anonymous Ingredients: 30 Squirrels 1 Sledge-Hammer Method: Take Squirrels and mash them. serve on bed of rice Skwerl Dish - anonymous Take three gutted, cleaned and skinned squirrels two chicken brests 1/4 cup onions 1 cup chopped potatoes 1/2 cup carrots pinch garlic salt and pepper to taste Place squirrel and chicken on different pans, and bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Place other ingredients in bot of boiling water once meat is done cooking in oven. Once meats are done cooking remove from oven and let stand for 5 minutes covered. Take chicken and add to boiling pot of water. Take squirrel and feed to dog. Enjoy your chicken stew! PBR fried Skwerl (OMS) - anonymous 12 happy skwerl 1 cage 20 gallon bucket full of melted lard and PBR Then take nems pesky sums-o-b's with cage deep fry in mixture till dey smellin fine Irish hillbilly skwirl RM - anonymous 23.23430192 lbs. of sun dried skwirl meat. 1 gallon bucket of unwashed spuds (unwashed for that out doors taste 1 12 pack of PBR cans salt and pepper 2 big ol scoops of lard mix it all up in a big pot and let it cook slow fer bout 12 hours till it a thick paste. Then spread on toast with some hot sause. taste best when drunk Simple Skwerl Eatin' - anonymous 1. get skwerl 2. cookum 3 stop kooking thum four. eat i'm skayrt this noofanguld kuntrapshin 'kumpudor' bye Blown-A-Part Skwerl - anonymous 1.get 50 skwerls 2.or if you can not count that hi go as hi as you can 3.feed them till thay blow up 4.cook at 350 for 40 5.eat the little thing(s) Transmission Oil Skwerl Bake - Patriot WinDixie This is an easy to make meal but only if you have an old pickup truck. Get your gun and dog, a bucket, a propane bbq, load it all up and drive your broke-down pickup into the mountains (don't forget your squirrel hunting license). When you get there put the bucket under your truck's leaky transmission. Then drink some beer. Now shoot some squirrels and anything else that gets in the way. Drink some more beer. Make a beer run if necessary. After you shoot your limit (of squirrels), throw them in the bucket and let them soak up the transmission fluid. Then put them on the bbq (did you remember a match? No? Use the truck's lighter to start it!), cover them up and let them bake for about 30 minutes, uncover and feed one to your dog. If the dog survives, eat the rest yourself. Then drink a LOT more beer, jam Southern Culture On The Skids into your 8-track and head on home (don't forget your dog - unless it's dead!). 9mm Squirrel - anonymous 1.kill 50 with a 9mm 2.pick up all pices thet are not in the naxt town. 3.put it in pan at 350 for therty mins. or goldbrown 4.see it is not big and repeat teal there all deed. Lindsey Levesey Squirrel Surprise 1. Run over that darn squirrel with your forklift (no gutting required). 2. If squirrel sticks to tire, use a prybar to remove the innards and fry in a pan for approximately 1 hour. 3. Cry for approximately 2 years at the fact that you killed a helpless animal. Seminole Squirrel - from Sasha Ingredients: 2 squirrels, cleaned Salt and pepper to taste 1 cup all-purpose flour 6 tablespoons lard or bacon drippings 2 cups water Cut squirrels into serving pieces. Mix salt, pepper and flour and dredge the squirrel pieces in the mixture. In a large skillet, heat the fat and fry squirrel pieces, turning occasionally until golden brown. Remove squirrel from the skillet and set aside. Pour off all fat except about 3 tablespoons. Add water to the skillet and bring to boil. Return squirrel to the skillet; bring to boil again, cover and reduce heat. Simmer for about 1 1/2 hours or until the meat is very tender. Serve with corn bread, taters or sweet taters, and veggies. Astro-Squiral - anonymous Preparation: get 107 squirals an' chop 'em fine. Then chop 'em up sum more. The a lot more still. Then stick 'em in yer dehydrator machine for a long spell. Take 'em out. They'll be just like fine grain sand. Add some salt n pepper accordin' to yer likens. Then put 'em into plastic baggies (be careful not to mix the baggies in with yer illegal drugs). Re-preparation: To fix Astro-Squiral just pour the contents of a baggie into a bowl and add some likker. Roll 'em into little balls and microwave on low fer 1 minute or so. Tastes best in a vacuum. Enjoy! SkwirlEye Jello - from Patriot Luke Sr. (the preacher's son) Confused about what to do with all those skwirl eyes left over after the you've gutted 'em? Just do up some jello - lime is good, but any flavor you fancy and toss them in. It helps to marinate them in some sugar water or whisky or even both before adding them in. we like to use funny animal molds to pour the jello in. clown molds are good, too When the jello is set, put it on a platter and garnish with mint leaves and anything else you want. Here's lookin' at you! Watermelon Surprise - anonymous Even skwerlhuggers should like this one... Puncture a small hole in your watermellon. use a meat syringe or turky baster to fill watermellon with your choice of tecquilla or white rum. cut up watermellon, enjoy! don't share it with the skwerls. it won't stop them but you won't care! OMS Soft Skwerl Supreem - from OMS Us here at the Old Man Society can't eat dem deepfryed kritters yalls always cookin' up cuz of ar dentures and all. we always gotta eats ourselfs soft skwerl supreem. this ain't a tuffie just takes some waitin. first git urselfs as many skwerls as ya plan on eatin. then put em in a bucket of formaldihide, JD green, skwerl pee, rainwater, and a all yer favorit spices. stik it ina warm place and leeve em sit bout a munth. then heat up the bucket ovir the fire untill theys git good and hot. then take em out and gum em until u can swaller them. Ralfph and Cletus dont like this one much but Abe and Melvin eat the cadoodles out of it all the time. Look for more recipes coming from the Old Man Society. Skwerl a la dente - anonymous catch one a the furry b's and stick him in a pot with lots of hot water and then stick the lid on. hold it down as hard as you can until the lid flies off and all the contents are on the floor. scoop it up and garnish with approximately three cups of parsley so the people cant see what they're eating until its too late. Bourbon Chikin Skwerl - anonymous drink 2 fifths of cheep bourbon. eat one live skwerl Tasty Gourmet Squirrel - K-Girl Fist, You must aquire 3 mature suirrels, the black Princeton kind are best. Carefully remove the skin to make sure that all fur has been removed. With a very sharp cooking knife remove suirrel head (you don't want those eyes staring back you). Next, Place Squirel in a deep casserole dish. Surround with truffles, Pearl onions, and red bliss potatoes. Sprinkle a dash of cayenne pepper, salt and tarragon. Bake in in a covered dish at 350 for 75 minutes. Check for tendeness. Cook longer if not teder. Garnish with caviar gelee. Bon appetit! Skwerl and Velveta Casserole - anonymous Jist put your skinned skwerl in tha oven and put some o them there velveta slices on top. Iffin it sets on fire, thats ok, jist put it out with your beer and it all addsta the flavor. Tastes best served on paper plates on the couch in front of the TV. My Brother's Squirrel - Patriot Kelsy Send me your address and I'll send you my brother's squirrel. Watch out, it hates everyone and bites anything that moves except for my brother. when you get it, throw it in a crock pot with some vegetavle broth cook until done salt and pepper to taste Squirral and Chicken Pie - anonymous Put one squirral in a pie pan, put oven to 375 add two chickens and a pound of weat. let cook of tow to three years when done get a life. Skwerl Pizza - anonymous 8 Gray squirrels, skin on 3 cup of pizza sauce 1 1/2 pounds of garlic 1 package of mushrooms 1 stick of butter 1 stick of pepperoni 1 cup water Put squirrels in large kettle and boil for twenty minutes. Take mushrooms and one pound of garlic and crush into paste. Add one cup of water and stir until all white. Take boiled squirrels and garlic paste and spread onto pizza crust. Bake for one hour at 450 degrees and serve. Squirrel with Black-Eyed Peas - Dana and Beck Hi! here's one more recipe and i remebered the website that has all the ones I sent before. It's Just Game recipes .com. Four medium-size squirrels, drawn, skinned, and cleaned 1/2 lb Black-eyed peas 3 md Onions 2 sm Carrots 1/2 pk Frozen sweet peas 1/4 lb Smoked link sausage Flour Bacon fat or lard Salt and pepper 1 c Chicken broth For the Crock-pot: serves two Put the squirrels into salted water and hold overnight in the refrigerator; the next day, rinse and pat dry. Bring 4-6 cups of water to vigorous boil in a large saucepan, then add the black-eyed peas to it. Boil furiously for 2 minutes, then remove from the heat and cover; hold 15 minutes and drain. Quarter the squirrels, and dredge with flour. Saute' in a skillet in hot bacon fat or lard until golden brown, then drain on a paper towel and place in a crock-pot. Chop the onions coarsely, and saute' in bacon fat and pan drippings until translucent, and add to the pot. Cut the carrots into 3/4" lengths, and the sausage into 1/8" disks, then add them along with the frozen peas and the cooked blackeyed peas. Salt and pepper to taste and stir gently; add the chicken broth and cook in the crock-pot for 8 hours on low setting, or until the meat is almost falling off the bones. For a different flavor, you can substitute lentils or navy beans for the black-eyed peas. ED NOTE: Just Game Recipes can be found at www.justgamerecipes.com/index.htm Dishwasher Skwerl - Patriot Laura This is a variation on the ever-popular Dishwasher Fish. Catch and kill a skwerl by any of the following amusing methods: --shotgun --stabbing --strangulation --bashing with cast-iron frying pan Then, skin, debone, and clean the little rodent with a sharp knife. Wrap the meat tightly in foil and stick in your dishwasher on normal setting with your plates, cups, etc. When your dishes are clean, the skwerl is done. Why it's tasty: If you think this is tasty, there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with you! Skwerl Crumble - Patriots Dave/Dee UK Here's a traditionl old english recipe, originally for ferrets but they look kinda skwerly, so it should translate. Take 1 very old skwerl and wait. Squirrel Soup - Dana and Beck Throw the squirrel's body on hot coals to singe off all the fur. Skin the body, cut off the feet and head, clean the inside and wash the body well. Let the body soak overnight in water to cover, to which 1/2 tsp. salt has been added. Boil about 10 minutes, then discard this water. Boil in fresh water about 2 hours or until done, and cool. Bone, and cut up the meat into small pieces, saving the broth. Cut up one small onion and 1 large or 2 small potatoes and add to the broth. Return the meat to the broth also and cook until vegetables are done. Season to taste. I found this recipe and the other two (directly below) on another website a while ago. I just can't remmeber where! We've tried the Cider Squirrels and it was really pretty good. ~ Dana Cider Squirrels Southern Style - Dana and Beck 4 lg Squirrels (gray, fox, or black), or 2 rabbits Flour Salt and pepper 1/4 ts Powdered sage 1/4 ts Powdered rosemary 3 tb Bacon or sausage fat 1 qt Dry cider 4 tb Butter 1 c Heavy cream Skin, eviscerate, and disjoint the squirrels, making sure to remove the small scent sacs from beneath the forelegs. If these glands are not removed, a bitter taste will be imparted to the dish. Soak the pieces for one hour in cold water to which 1 teaspoon salt has been added. Remove, drain, and pat dry. Roll the pieces in flour seasoned with salt, pepper, sage and rosemary. (Prepared poultry seasoning is a good substitute.) Heat the bacon fat in a deep skillet and brown the squirrel pieces on all sides. Add the cider and simmer until the meat is alnost tender. Remove the cover and continue cooking until the meat is tender and most of the liquid absorbed. Remove the squirrel pieces and put aside to cool. Reserve any pan liquids for the gravy. Roll the squirrel in the seasoned flour again, heat the butter in another skillet, and rebrown the squirrel until golden and crisp. Put the squirrel pieces on a heated platter, and keep warm, while you add all juices and scrapings to the skillet. Make a paste of a tablespoon of flour and the heavy cream. Pour this slowly into the pan juices, stirring constantly, until the sauce is smooth, hot, and slightly thick. Ladle the gravy over the squirrel pieces and serve. Smokey Mountain Fried Squirrel - Dana and Beck 2 Squirrels, young, cut up 1/2 c Flour 1/2 ts Seasoned salt 1/4 ts Black pepper 4 tb Cooking oil 1/2 c Water 1 Onion, medium, chopped 3 Carrots, quartered Mix flour, seasoned salt, and pepper, dredge meat. Heat cooking oil over medium heat in dutch oven. Fry meat until golden brown. Reduce heat, add water, onions and carrots. Cover and simmer 40 minutes. China Billy Orange Squirrel - anonymous Go to Chinese restaurant in any small town in Kintucky. Order Orange Chicken. Enjoy with rice and soy sauce. WHY IT'S YUMMY - You think it's chicken. Moose and Squirrel Meat Balls - anonymous (Especially useful recipe if main ingredients have been dead for 24 or more hours before harvested) Three pounds, ground moose and squirrel, any proportion; six slices soft white bread; one-half cup water; one-third cup butter; one-and-one-third cups chopped onion; salt and freshly ground black pepper; two tablespoons chopped parsley; two tablespoons flour; one-and-one-half cups milk. Soak bread in water five minutes. Squeeze excess water out. Melt four tablespoons butter in skillet. Sauté onion in butter until tender. Combine moose and squirrel meat, squeezed bread, four teaspoons salt, one-half teaspoon pepper and parsley. Form mixture into one-inch balls. Chill twenty minutes. Heat remaining butter in skillet. Brown moose-and-squirrel balls on all sides. Cover skillet and cook slowly 15 minutes. Remove balls to warm platter. Sprinkle flour over skillet droppings. Stir and cook one minute. Stir in milk and bring to boil. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Return moose-and-squirrel balls to skillet. Simmer four minutes. Serve. Cafe Sciuridae - anonymous grind coffee beans and skwerl in grinder. put grounds in medium-sized pot to put to boil; then strain through yur bandana.serve up but dont burn yur tongue though. Sauerkraut Squirell 2 squirrls, hacked into pieces 3 Tb. butter 1 lb. can sauerkraut 5 slices bacon 1 lb. hot Italian sausage sliced into pieces 2 cloves garlic minced 1 tsp. crushed caraway seeds 2 cups cheap beer salt and pepper Saute the squrrel pieces in butter until browned. Set aside. Drain the sauerkraut but save the liquid. In a deep skillet fry the bacon until it is half done. Set aside. Brown the sausage in the bacon fat. Add the sauerkraut, bacon, garlic, caraway seeds, and beer and with two forks mix thoroughly. Simmer for 10 minutes. Pour half of this mixture in a casserole dish, lay in the browned squirrell pieces, then cover with the remaining sauerkraut. Simmer, covered for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Ad beer or kraut juice if cooks down too much. Serves 1-4 Skwerl Copenhagen - anonymous 3 choped up squirrels 1-2 cans copenhagen 1 gal moonshine 5 pouchs red man mix 'em up an scarf 'em down! Wake Up PatRiot Delight - Skwerlhugger Molly Kule from the drey of Squirrelhugger Martha Stewed - I mean, Stewart! 2 cans PatRiot Munkeychops' brand Skwerl Chunks 1 head PatRiot Tabby's brand Cauliflower Skwerl 1 head Patriot Tabby 1 set of PatRiot Munkeychops' chops 1 teaspoon Olive Oil Mince PatRiot Munkeychops' chops in a Black & Decker mini chopper. You won't need the Moulinex La Machine II food processor for this one, 'cause PatRiot Munkeychops' chops are so tiny, it would be a waste of time, effort and clean up to pull out the food processor, anyway. Brown PatRiot Munkeychops' chops with the olive oil, in a very hot cast iron skillet, available at Kmart from my line of Everyday Cookware. Using great care, and a shop vice, crush the skull of RatRiot Tabby's head, and extract the dried up sad excuse for a brain that has been keeping PatRiot Tabby from anything resembling a successful life. Add these to the browning PatRiot Munkeychops' minced chops, and continue browning until the chops & brains are just a lovely golden colour. Add the two cans of Skwerl Chunks, and the head of Cauliflower Skwerl, broken into bite sized pieces. Cover skillet, and remove from heat. While allowing the skillet to rest, take a nice long soak in PatRiot Munkeychops' sunken, jet-stream Jacuzzi. Then, pull out from her wardrobe walk-in closet PatRiot Tabby's best LBD from her Christian Dior Couture Collection, a pair of ultra sheer black silk stay-up lace top stockings, a pair of 4" Sergio Rossi's, and a simple, single 16" strand of Tiffany's Etoile Collection pearls. Spritz your beautiful fluffy tail with PatRiot Tabby's Chanel No. 5. Return to the kitchen, and test cauliflower for doneness - it should be just fork tender, having continued to cook just from the residual heat of the skillet. Put covered skillet in a new quilted thermal casserole carrier, still available from my Everyday Cookware collection at your local Kmart, and put it on the passenger seat of PatRiot Munkeychops' '51 Scott Flying Squirrel, and zip over to the Fullovum Funeral Home, to attend the wake of PatRiots Munkychops and Tabby! Well, duh! Of course, you had to kill'em. Didja think they were just gonna hand you their nuts, chops and that sad excuse for a brain, without any resistance? Enjoy the compliments of PatRiot Munkeychops' and Tabby's friends and family, as they enjoy this wonderful creation, Wake Up PatRiot Delight, after the funeral service! Fend off the advances of both PatRiot Munkeychops' and PatRiot Tabby's grIEving spouses, but seduce their children! Lard Ch |
