It seems that the bushytail horde will stop at nothing to debase the good names of civilization's heros. Now the chittering nutkins have their eye on that champion of the common man, Robin Hood.

Their tool for this shameless attack is Professor Stephan Knight, head of the English Studies department at the University of Wales in Cardiff, England. Professor Knight, if that is his real name, is considered by some to be the leading authority on the Robin Hood legend. Unfortunately, this traitor doesn't believe that Robin Hood ever existed and suggests that, if he did, he was probably gay, not merry.

Patriots, don't be fooled by this latest attempt to demoralize humanity. This is a sissy effort by the demonic nut devils to incite the homophobic population against a saint. Sure, Patriot Robin lived out in the woods with a lot of merry men. So what? Maybe they were merry because they got to shoot all the skwerls they wanted (and who wouldn't be merry in that environment!?!) - after all, one of the standing charges against Robin was poaching on the King's land.

But, the real issue isn't whether Robin Hood was queer and/or as some rumored, a woman in man's clothing - which brings up his/her relationship with Maid Marian...

Whatever, we certainly could care less about that. The ONLY question that matters is whether or not Robin was a skwerl-whackin' Patriot or loser skwerlhugger.

Fortunately, Patriots, we have definitive proof that Robin Hood, aka Robert Hood, aka Robyn Hood, aka the Earl of Huntingdon, was a Great Patriot in the struggle against squirrel world domination.

Behold young Robin; observe the picture to your right...

There you have it. Proof positive that Robin Hood was a skwerl fighter from the time he could put shaft to bow.

And there's no doubt that his reputation as an archer and a Patriot grew as he aged.

Patriots, we'll let the scholars and historians debate whether Robin Hood was a scoundral, a rebellious yeoman, or a nobel defending a rightful king's claim to England's throne.

However, there's one thing of which we're certain. On his deathbed in November 1274, Robin asked for a final favor. He asked that one of his merry men postion him before a window, so he could let fly one last arrow.

And we all know what Great Patriot Robin was aiming at (click Robin for comment)...

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Postscript: In November, 1974, 700 years after Robin Hood died, another archer, Ted Nugent, won a national archery contest by hitting a skwerl at 150 yards.