Patriots, you were aghast when scary squirrel world first discovered and reported on the the deadly White 2k Skwerl, Whitey (whom some believe is the mystical "Nice Skwerl" personified); you blanched when we revealed the existence of that epitome of not-niceness, Half-Whitey; but nothing can prepare you for the horrors that are THE SPAWN OF WHITEY...

click thumbs for large pics
White California ground skwerls - Spermophilus beecheyi

As many of you know, the hideous White 2k Skwerl now known as Whitey was discovered in Woodward Park, the world's largest Squirrel Enforcement Army base in Fresno, California last year. And in spite of efforts by our clinically insane photo editor, Lovey Squirrel to tame it, and numerous SUV's to run over it, Whitey begot Half-Whitey, and Half-Whitey and Whitey went about begetting all the mini-whities, just two of which are pictured above.

Patriots, the drooling, white nutkins pictured above are a rarity amongst ground skwerls. We're not aware of any other white g-skwerls anywhere. But make no mistake, they're increasing in numbers and sure to spread across the nation trampling flower beds, terrorizing church picnics, biting defensless babies, carrying off senior citizens, and feasting on our orchards of delicious nuts until they link up with their cousins, the aboreal white fox skwerl in the eastern United States - and then, God have mercy on us all!!!

   
click to hear calif g-skwerl's hideous chitter
skwerlien version (L); translated version (R)

CLICK HERE TO TAKE CLETUS'S CALIF G-SKWERL QUIZ

WHAT'S YOUR OPINION?
click link to give your opinion - form opens in new window

RELATED TOPICS
OUR WOODWARD PARK EXPOSES
LA JOLLA COVE, CALIFORNIA G-SKWERL ATTACK!
MONSTERS IN THE MOJAVE!
CALIFORNIA GROUND SQUIRREL FACT SHEET