CAMPUS ALERT!!! PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting students and faculty.
The latest report comes from Siena Heights University, Adrian, MI

I have always known that Skwerls are evil. I used to take every step necessary to rid my neighborhood and school of the vermin--chasing them with my bike, sicking my dog on them, putting rat poison in the nuts I left out for them... but to my despair, I found there are simply too many of them to effectively battle.

So, I figured, if I can't beat 'em, I'd better join 'em, so I'm not the first to go when their evil plan takes flight.

Beware! The Skwerl population in the U.S. is approximately 1.12 billion, to our 298 million human population.. there's almost a 3:1 ratio, and believe me, if they wanted to, 3 Skwerls could take out one human!!

All I can say is don't let on that you know what's going on.. If they think you know too much, you'll pay the consequences!

~Samantha, Siena Heights University, MI