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To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
From: Tony Beeman
Subject: Purdue University
The squirrels at Purdue U are held in check by the evil Midget horde that
lives under our fountain. The disappearance of several midget artifacts
around campus, such as a giant wrench disguised as a fire-escape, lead the
Midget Discovery Society to believe someone, or someTHING, has been
intruding on the midget territory. The squirrels are out this winter.
They have black fur and beady eyes. The peaceful brown squirrels of
yesteryear are nowhere to be found. I don't know how much longer we can
hold out.
M.D.S. Illustrius Potentate, Tony Beeman