scary squirrel world
Scary Squirrel World

CAMPUS ALERT!!!

PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting the youth of America. The latest report comes from Princeton University, New Jersey.

Princeton's In Peril!

THE FOLLOWING REPORT COMES FROM
PATRIOT FRESHMAKER

        I graduated from Princeton U. in '96. I'd like you to research and send out an alert on the crazy, black squirrels that can be found on that 4-acre campus in NJ. Those guys are vicious and not shy at all. Even though I'm in VA now, I'm still a bit scared to share my experience, because, well, let's just say, "the walls have ears." At the risk of possible retaliation from the Princeton squirrel community, I'll mention the time that I purchased a box of Triscuit crackers, failing to take into account that it was summertime. Of course, I now know summertime+dorm room=open window=crazy, hungry, potentially-rabid, squirrel infestation! The Triscuits just added fuel to the ol' crazy squirrel flame. And these guys sneak up on you all quiet, like little demons in the night...

PATRIOTS, DON'T LET OUR BRAVE STUDENTS PERISH!!!

IS YOU SCHOOL OR TOWN OVERRUN BY THE SQUIRREL HORDE?

Report your findings to scary squirrel world.
We will inform anti-squirrel activists everywhere of your distress.

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