| scary squirrel world Scary Squirrel World |
According to reputable sources, Pepperdine University is the latest victim of squirrel aggression. Students and faculty are advised to avoid standing or reclining under trees, sitting on benches adjacent to grassy areas, or walking alone on campus. Additionally, Patriot Steve reports that the local squirrel population has been infiltrated by vicious "Val" squirrels from San Fernando, Alhambra, Pasadena, and other undesireable towns. These Vals are littering the beaches with empty acorn shells and may be responsible for a rash of surfboard theft in the area. Immediate assistance is needed.