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From: Karen
To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
Subject: Campus Alert!
Date: Sunday, May 02, 1999 2:20 PMAttention Patriot Underground,
I need to alert you of a very grave situation facing the great city of Boston. I attend a school on the outskirts of the city, Northeastern University, but I'm writing to you from an undisclosed location, for if THEY discover me, the retribution brought upon my collegiate brethren will be horrific. I can only tell you that the Boston Rebel Alliance is growing weaker by the minute.The squirrel hordes have joined forces with their fellow city-dwelling rodents, the rats and also their winged disease-spreading cousins, the pigeons. They are everywhere! You can't make it a block without being followed by their gray winged devil messengers. The squirrels are clearly behind all this. You can only catch a glimpse of them very rarely, they lay low in the city and they send their minions out to do the dirty work for them.
Moreover, the squirrels have manipulated the university government, imposing a "co-op program" which forces us to do manual labor every other quarter... also, our student center has been named "The Ell Center" - supposedly after a former president of the university...but my suspicion is that "Ell" is merely an abbreviation for the english spelling of "squirrell" - They've hit us where it hurts!
I've narrowed the location of the squirrels' headquarters down to the large purple beech tree, three trees from the northwest entrance to the public gardens. This information has been gleaned from a sympathetic rat who is well placed inside their organization. If we strike now, victory can be ours!
Patriots, we will gladly perish on the barricades rather than end our days enslaved by the squirrel horde! .... Please... we beg of you... send reinforcements!
Commandant Karen Drema Ready,
Second Battalion Commander, Boston Rebel Alliance
