Hi, I just graduated from UM. We've been under constant surveillance by the squirrel community for quite some time now. Just the other day I walked outside of work and was nearly besieged by what _appeared_ to be a lone spy squirrel, hidden far away in a tree above the exit door. I only noticed him/her (couldn't tell which) because the crafty fellow was trying to establish a better line of sight and was performing aeronautic moves that would make the very best double-bar gymnast insanely jealous. The squirrel's sheer skill and speed should have warned me that this was not a typical squirrel, but I was too afraid to think clearly. All I wanted to do was get a photo of him to provide _proof_ once and for all that squirrels are out there, watching us, increasing in power and wealth every day.

Before the squirrel could spot me I ran back inside, grabbed a digital camera, and quietly slipped back outside to grab a picture. I managed to get this one shot in before the squirrel noticed me. That's when I realized this was no ordinary squirrel. Just as I was about to snap another photo the squirrels eyes emit a short burst of bright green light, which blinded me momentarily. While still blinded I heard a faint russell of branches above my head, heard a high-pitched whistling noise, and then felt a sharp smack to my forehead and fell to the ground, unconscious.

I awoke the next day, lying in the middle of a corn field somewhere in southern Indiana, with nothing but my camera gripped tightly in my hands. No one, including the owner of the farm I woke up in, knows how I got arrived in Indiana. I've attached a copy of the photo I managed to download from the camera. Take a look for yourself, this is no ordinary squirrel!

The Squirrels Are Out There.
-- M@