scary squirrel world ITHACA COLLEGE SKWERL-DUCK CONSPIRACY!

CAMPUS ALERT!!!
PATRIOTS,
GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting students and faculty.
The latest report comes from Ithaca College

FROM PATRIOT JENNIE

From: Jennie
To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
Subject: Campus Alert!

Ithaca College campus is overrun by squirrels AND DUCKS. Ducks are everywhere! They drink out of muddy puddles and other wet unsanitary pools. These fearless-feathered-freaks squawk at pedestrians letting them know that their treading on duck turf. They're clearly controlled by the squirrels.

It's only a matter of time before students are out-numbered by these damn dirty DUCKS! When that happens, the squirrels will order a final duck strike against us! Please! Send help!!!!

PATRIOTS, DON'T LET OUR BRAVE STUDENTS PERISH!!!

IS YOUR SCHOOL OVERRUN BY THE SQUIRREL HORDE,
OR HAVE YOU FREED YOUR SKOOL OF SKWERLS?
Send your report to scary squirrel world.
We will inform anti-squirrel activists everywhere!

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