CAMPUS ALERT!!! PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

It was a day I'll not soon forget...

It all started a few weeks ago. A squirrel began hanging out outside the doors to the building where I work and go to school (University of Iowa). We all noticed that the squirrel seemed a little bit off. We even joked about it being one a killer squirrels like the bunny on Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail. Little did we know that this was actually closer to the truth than we suspected.

After that, more squirrels began showing up. They always come so close, and when you see them, they stop and just glare at you. We've all become a little unnerved by the whole thing. Then, today, I was standing outside the building with a friend. My professor walked past and said hello. Then, out of nowhere one of the squirrels ran straight at me. I threw my hands up and screamed. I really believed I was going to be die.

Somehow, I managed to narrowly avoid being mauled by the hideous creature. It kept on its path. A few moments later another squirrel crept up behind me. My friend saw it and alerted me. When I looked at the squirrel, it stopped and glared at me as I cowered. Thank God it went on its way and didn't maul me to death. I can just imagine the day when I will leave the building and a horde of glaring little squirrels will jump on me and gnaw me to death with their tiny, sharp teeth.