CAMPUS ALERT!!!

PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

From: km@wet.net (some body)
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 1998 20:03:22 -0500 (CDT)
To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
Subject: CampusAlert! University of Illinois!!!

I go to the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana and hate squirrels! This year i shared an apartment with two of my friends and a family of squirrels. The squirrel family took up residence in our bathroom wall. Every morning we woke up to the sound of scratching, clawing and even moaning through the wall.

Eventually they clawed their way into the side of the bathtub, where they "tubthumped" throughout the day. No shower could be taken without fear of a squirrel popping out of the drain. One day they sounded so close i was too afraid to use the bathroom let alone take a shower. I missed all my classes. Various calls to the maintenance produced nothing but confirmations of the existence of the squirrels and poison. Then one dark night one of my roomates heard something in her closet and called 9-1-1. They came, flashed lights and discovered nothing but disheveled clothes. "Probably an animal" they said. Probably our friend the squirrel. Please spred the word about these pesky animals!

-Patriot Kelli