CAMPUS ALERT!!! PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Patriots,

I attend Glasgow University in Scotland and I am asking that you put out alert to save the university.

Glasgow has its share of squirrels but they have always been mild mannered and rather shy about people. Even the campus squirrels have traditionally avoided people. All that changed with the arrival of the Punk Rock Squirrels. Here is the text from a local newspaper about these devils:

Punk-loving squirrels are nicknamed Sid and Nancy

Students have nicknamed two squirrels Sid and Nancy because they love listening to the Sex Pistols.

Whenever Bill Briggs or Mhairi Selkirk play punk music, the grey squirrels appear on the window ledge of their Glasgow flat. The Glasgow University students say the pair have nested into the walls of their building.

Mr Briggs told the Daily Record: "The first time I saw them, I was playing a punk rock CD. It was a Sex Pistols album and I immediately thought how their tails looked like Mohican haircuts as they bobbed up and down on the window ledge."

Mhairi added: "They just totally seem to dig that punk music."

These Punk Rock Squirrels appear to live outside the university. However, my concern is that they and their friends are surrounding us and recruiting the campus squirrels. How long will it be before before the university is turned into one big mosh pit with the students as the trampled victims without help from brave Patriots everywhere!?!

- Patriot Martin