CAMPUS ALERT!!!

PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

From: morf32@net Amy
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1998 22:16:06 -0400 (EDT)
To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
Subject: CampusAlert!

I attend Central Michigan University in Mt. Pleasant, MI. During fall semester of last year, this one particular squirrel would always sit and stare sinisterly at me on the way home from class, all because I wouldn't share a snack with it. It was clear that he expected tribute. I was probably lucky that I survived the school year. I've heard stories about other students who weren't so fortunate... My older sister also had a scary squirrel experience: when moving into a new home in Grand Rapids, MI, she actually stepped on a squirrel (who was undoubtedly ambushing her)!

I am convinced that these rodents are out to destroy the human race and possibly Michigan. They must be stopped!