| scary squirrel world Scary Squirrel World |
From: Angela
To: scarysquirrel@scarysquirrel.com
Subject: Campus Alert!
Dear Scary Squirrel World,
The University of Chicago has joined the unfortunate ranks of the squirrel-overrun!Being a kind-hearted undergrad, I tried to feed half of my tasty chocolate Ho-Ho to a hungry squirrel. He sat up and did cute little squirrel things with his paws and chirped.
I set the food on the ground, he ate half, and then flew at my hand. He jumped at least two feet to reach it, and he wasn't going to let go. It was a terrifying blur of claws, teeth, and fuzzy brown fur. I finally detached him by kicking his little squirrel ass across the sidewalk. My boot made a soft, satisfying thud when itcontacted his belly. I thought I was safe, but no, he then went after my leg. He finally fled when I wacked him with my chem book.
My hand was bleeding all over and I had to see a doctor.
Keep up the good work warning the public about these little menaces.
Sincerely, angela
