CAMPUS ALERT!!! PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting students and faculty.
The latest report comes from the North Carolina State University, Raleigh, North Carolina

The campus of Birmingham-Southern College needs to have an alert for squirrels. They are everywhere and they are after the students...

The squirrels seem to be multiplying in number this spring. They have been sited everywhere from trees, to various lawns and garden, even in the buildings.

A squirrel almost killed two service men the other day after they spent many long hours attempting to chase him out of a building. There is no doubt that he had everything planned out. He darted into different wings of the building and sent the men on a wild chase.

Students should be aware that these squirrels have made devious plans to destroy the student body and that they will follow them through. The service men were just the beginning. Who knows what might be next. Chewed up tests, nuts in dorms, long high-speed chases across the campus... Please be alert and stay away from the squirrels!!!