Subliminal skwerlhuggery?

UC BERKELEY'S CAMPUS PAPER PUBLISHES UNEXPLAINED PICS OF DEVIANT CHITTERBOXES!

        It's not a happy task reporting on the bushytail horde's attempts to take over our colleges and universities. But it's doublly unpleasant when it appears that the skoool itself is in league with the chitterbox terrors. Consider the following alert from Patriot A Concerned Citizen (ACC):

        Patriot ACC is referring to the May 12, 2000 edition of the Daily Californian (see pic at top page). The photos in question are not associated with any news article. They appear alone and unexplained except for their captions. The menacing skwerlball on the cover, identified as "Sam", snarls "Bring it on" while photos on pages 3 and 5 identify the nutkins respectively as "Speaker of the House" and "Demon squirrel":

photo credits: Dan Jung (Top), Sean Boyd (L) and Mike German (R)

        Now Patriots, we wanted to give the Daily Californian the benefit of the doubt. After all, perhaps they published the photos as a warning to students to beware of these aboreal tree terrors. However, our science editor, Cuzin Cletus reminded us that the pics may just as well be not so subliminal messages to turn students to the skwerl-side through visual intimidation.
        So, we wrote to the Californian's photo editor, Carey Wagner, asking for copies of the offending photos for study and for an explanation as to why they were published; and, after allowing an unreasonably short period of time for a reply, we received none! Thus, we must sadly but objectively conclude that the photos were placed as standard skwerlien mind numbing messages: "Resistance is futile", "Submit to squirrel world domination or...", "Face the consequences!" (click text or pics above for hideous chitters).