scary squirrel world

AMHERST ATROCITY

CAMPUS ALERT!!!
PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting students and faculty.
The latest report comes from University of Massachuetts, Amherst

FROM PATRIOT KATE

I go to the University of Massachusetts, Amherst and the squirrels here are basically insane. They come up to students, and they are not their shy, runaway selves here. It's weird. And there are also some black squirrels here too. And there is a huge rumor that they are lab squirrels, and they were let loose on this campus. Aren't they just a breed of squirrel?

I would appreciate it if you would write back to let me know! (yeah, I have too much time on my hands.)

- Patriot Kate

Ed. note: we'd like to reassure Patriot Kate that the black skwerls at Amherst are naturally ocurring variations of their lighter furred cousins, but we can't.

PATRIOTS, DON'T LET OUR BRAVE STUDENTS PERISH!!!

IS YOUR SCHOOL OVERRUN BY THE BUSHYTAIL HORDE,
OR HAVE YOU FREED YOUR SKOOL OF SKWERLS?
Send your report to scary squirrel world.
We will inform anti-squirrel activists everywhere!

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