CAMPUS ALERT!!! PATRIOTS, GET YOUR WHACKIN' STICKS!

Squirrels are taking over our colleges and universities, corrupting students and faculty.
The latest report comes from the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama

dear scary squirrel world,

i'm a student at the university of alabama. the squirrels here are totally out of hand. there's been two attacks on the schools electrical transforms this semester alone. both attacks were successful and blacked out parts of the campus permitting the bushytails to run amok!

not that they need darkness to work their terrible deeds. there are certain parts of campus where its a certain guarantee that you'll be assaulted by whole gangs of squirrels in broad daylight.

one day, my friend christian was eating lunch one day and this squirrel came out of no where. christian thought, awwwww, how cute and gave the squirrel a chip. i guess the bushytail didn't want it and bit on to his finger instead. he had to pull the squirrel off by the tail and still has the scars to show for it.

christian is a confirmed patriot now and so am i!!!!

~ patriot aileen

Ed. note: patriot aileen's story can be confirmed at www.cw.ua.edu