Patriots, we receive many questions from people wanting to know about the bushytail horde and its plan for squirrel world domination.
Most writers are supportive of our righteous cause and our efforts to defeat the slavering chitterboxes. Most, but not all. Every week we receive at least one email scolding us for not embracing the false promises of squirrel world domination.
The letters come from pathetic skwerlhuggers and have one common theme: skwerls are nice. Consider the following unedited email:
You website is the worst waste of bandwidth I even encountered. Your obiously a bunch of stupid rednecks that divide up their time killing squirrels and doing this site. How did you ever figure out how to make a website????? I mean its obvious you dropped out of grammer school. Does your parole officer help you?
What have you got against squirrels anyway (btw its spelled "squirrel" not "skwerl.")????? Squirrels are the nicest animals. They're harmless and wouldn't hurt anyone that didn't try to hurt them first. I love feeding them nuts, corn, and seed. They even come when I call them which proves they have bigger brains than you yokels.
~Disgusted in Vermont
Disgusted in Vermont doesn't just think skwerls are nice, he or she thinks they're the nicest animals. Where does that leave humankind? Under the brutal jackboot of skwerlien oppression...
So once again, as we've done so many times in the past, we offer proof that skwerls simply are not nice. This time we've assembled several videos for your consideration.
The first video shows a demonic nutzy terrorizing an elderly woman as she cries, "He's getting clear out of control!" The second video has no dialog but speaks for itself as a crazed chitterbox savages an American flag. The final video captures a drooling nutzy devouring a rat while the cameraman stammers "Don't look at me! Stay with the mouse! Stay with the mouse!!!"
CLICK SCREENSHOTS TO WATCH VIDEOS
Of course, there are numerous other examples of skwerlien not-niceness. Internet video dumps have a plentitude and our own video archive includes some horrific examples.
Still, pathetic skwerlhuggers refuse to acknowledge that their nutzy overlords have only one thing in mind: squirrel world domination by any means possible and "nice" has nothing to do with their false promises of a better world.
Patriots, we leave you with one last example of bushytail not-niceness. This time, it's a photograph sent to us by our operative in Finland. As you srcoll down, it shows an innocent little woodpecker returning to her nest. But wait! A deranged flying skwerl has taken over. Is it flipping the poor little bird off? Nice? Not!
MORE WHEN SKWERLS ATTACK
ARE DEAD SKWERLS FUN?
MORE SKWERLY VIDEOS
photo credit: flying squirrel source unknown
videos off youtube except Trigger Happy TV's spy skit