Patriots, the following report documents a horrific nutzy assault. An intro isn't necessary. As for the conclusions to be drawn, we'll leave that to you...
From skwerlhugger Nancy:
Hughbie... WAS...the love of my life...
I live in Florida.. I got the squirrel bug during the hurricanes 2 years ago, three storms back to back...
My neighbor brought me this little pink blob with a tail... no fur... black dots for eyes... looked like a little fetus really... apparently it had fallen from its nest during the storms. We named him UB ugly... which later turned to just Hughbie.
I found that the little guy had to be kept at 98 degrees or he would die... well we didn't have any power so I plunked him in my bra and he lived there quite happily for THREE WEEKS... it took that long for the power to come back.
After that he moved to my bath robe, yes with me wearing it.. I took him with me every day to work... my co-workers thought I was insane, especially when I had to help Hugh potty at my desk. One co-worker happened by as I was performing this duty and ran off horrified... he told me later.... "I wasn't sure WHAT I was seeing there."
Hughbie grew up and we released him in our front yard.. I was sure I would never see him again.. But he came back everyday for a year... jumped into my arms rolled over for a belly rub and a game of hide the peanut. He liked to bury the nuts in my hair, I could almost here him saying "Save for Later, Save for Later". Sounds like a harmless game.... but it turned into a nightmare...
One day during a hide the peanut game... Hughbie decided he didn't like me that close to the peanut he had just tangled in the back of my head... He started barking and chattering and pushing on me with his paws.. I suspect in the squirrel world I should have run, but the peanut was attached to me at this point and so was Hugh so running wouldn't have bought me much, besides this was my BABY.. who I saved from certain death... he wouldn't hurt me..
To calm him down I decided to slowly remove the peanut from my hair and toss it on the ground for him to retrieve...BIG mistake... He looked at me with this look... a... "HOW DARE YOU!!!" look... He then lunged at my face and began his carnage... I started screaming and twisting, arms flailing trying to get him off... he shredded my face. I had to tuck myself into a little ball, cover my face and hands and he continued biting my jacket till he got tired and ran off.
My husband heard me screaming "get off ... get off.." and assumed I was just being mean to the poor little guy.... I told him next time he saw me outside screaming a flailing around he might was to come out and investigate!!!!
Moral of the story... Hide the peanut aint for sissys!!!
If you want feel free to use this anyway you want... its a true story...
Patriots, why would anyone in their right mind place a wild skwerl in their hair? It's beyond us. And lest some of you are tempted to take a slavering, maniacal nutzy into your home and/or try the same thing, consider skwerlhugger Nancy's postscript:
PLEASE don't try and raise a baby squirrel... find a licensed rehabber.. Squirrels make horrible pets and it will always turn out bad even if you release them like I did. The problem is they will think you are a squirrel and they will treat you like one. It's their natural behavior... and it HURTS A LOT! First they will break your heart then they will break your face!
As for Hughbie, his current whereabouts are unknown... (click pic for comment)
CLICK TO HEAR TUFTY SING KOOKIE, LEND ME YOUR COMB
ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Were you appalled by Hughbie's beastly attack? Are you prepared to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...